Band One Shots

Valentine's Day

•Kellin•

Valentines Day, the day where cupid strikes you with his arrows of love and you and the love of your life become one. What a wonderful day, not.

Valentine's Day can suck my äss! My stupid ex boyfriend dumped me two days ago and I'm super fücking pissed. What's the point of Valentine's Day anyways? To give your significant other, who will most likely rip your heart out and shït on it, some flowers and a box of chocolate? To have sex as if it's bad to have sex on a day that isn't valentines? To kiss each other's ässes because one of you has or is bound to forget your anniversary.

"I'ma tell you one time, me plus you." I heard the annoying voice of prepeubescent Justin Bieber.

"Oh shut the fück up, Justin Bieber, that bïtch cheated on you with Sean Kingston. WHO EVERYBODY FORGOT ABOUT!" I yelled.

"Baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed..." I heard One Direction play through my phone's speaker.

"Oh we all know you guys gang bänged that bïtch from the video. I'm pretty sure you guys had a love pentagram going on but you all pulled off an Avenged Sevenfold and ripped her heart out before her eyes and ate it. Kiss my butt, lick my wonder cheese from under my nuts." I said.

All of a sudden the perfect song began playing. I stood up and ran to my big speaker, plugged my phone, and paused it real quick. I ran back to the kitchen and pulled out my rocky road ice cream and grabbed an ice cream scooper and dug it into the ice cream and put it in my mouth as I ran back to my room and pressed play. I began singing/yelling along ams running around my house in my boxers and over sized shirt eating ice cream.

' I see you driving down town with the girl I love
And I'm like,
Fuck you!
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough
I'm like,
Ah fuck!

I'm sorry,
I can't afford a Ferrari,
But I got something that'll get you there
Say she's an Xbox and I'm more Atari,
But the way you play your game ain't fair.

I pity the fool
That falls in love with you
Aaaaah
She's a golddigger
She's a golddigger
Oooooooooh
I've got some news for you.
Why don't you go tell your fucking boyfriend.

I see you driving down town with the girl I love
And I'm like,
Fuck you!
Ooo,ooo,oooo
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough
I'm like,
Fuck you! And fuck her too.
I said,
If I was richer, I'd still be here with ya
Ain't that some shit?
(Ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best
And
Fuck you!
Ooo,ooo,ooo

Now I know,
I had to borrow,
Beg and steal and lie and cheat.
(Beg and steal and lie and cheat.)
Trying to keep ya,
Trying to please ya.
'Cause being with your ass ain't cheap.

I pity the fool
That falls in love with you
Aaaaah
She's a golddigger
She's a motherfucking golddigger
Oooooooooh
I've got some news for you.
Ooh,
I really hate your ass right now.

I see you driving down town with the girl I love
And I'm like,
Fuck you! (Fuck you!)
Ooo,ooo,oooo
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough
I'm like,
Fuck you! And fuck her too.
I said,
If I was richer, I'd still be here with ya
Ain't that some shit? (shit)
(Ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best
And
Fuck you!
Ooo,ooo,ooo

Now baby, baby, baby, why you why you wanna wanna hurt me so bad?
(So bad, so bad, so bad)
I tried to tell my mamma but she told me
It's one for your dad.
(Your dad, your dad, your dad)
So I tell her like
Whhhhy?
Whhhhy?
Whhhhy oh baby?
I love you.
Still baby I love you.
Oooh!

I see you driving down town with the girl I love
And I'm like,
Fuck you!
(Fuck you bitch!)
So fuck you!

I see you driving down town with the girl I love
And I'm like,
Fuck you!
Ooo,ooo,oooo
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough
I'm like,
Fuck you! And…
Come on, come on
One more time

I see you driving down town with the girl I love (girl I love)
And I'm like,
Fuck you! (Fuck you!)
Ooo,ooo,oooo
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough (wasn't enough)
I'm like,
Fuck you! (Fuck you)'

I settles down on my bed when I was done with the song and panted. Well, all that exercise gave me more pleasure than Vic ever did! Fück love, as long as I have my friends and my right hand, I'm all good.

"Kellin?" I heard Vic say from out of nowhere.

"Happy valentine's day asshole, your would've been present is under the bed, kiss my äss, move on la dee da dee da! Hope you live a great life and all that moving on shït, I'm going to sleep. " I said and knocked out with colors of  black and red for some reason instead of shades of pink.

✖✖

Happy Valentine's Day, I'm posting this hateful and relatable Valentine's Day one shot  bc  fück love lol. I'm single as a pringle today. Omfg I found out the source of what made me question my sexuality! It was Katy Perry. Like 'I kissed a girl' Katy Perry days, the good old days. Can she go back to that? But like I was an 8 year old when that song came out and I was like 'idk what's going on, but I like it...too much.' I put a picture of her from that time in the media. Okay IDk what that was but yeah, okay bye.

Didn't proofread.

Senpai✖♥✖♥