Band One Shots

My Boyfriend is a girl

×Vic×

"Babe, stop." I said as Kellin kept poking my face. He didn't stop though. I groaned and went back to watching TV as he was cuddled into my side still poking my face.

"Baaabe. What do you want?" I asked.

"Change it, i hate Mindy Kaling. Like ugh she's so annoying." he said.

"I'm not changing it to Inside Amy Schumer. You know her stuff annoys me because it's all about sex." I say.

"But like Mindy Kaling is trying too hard to be like a wanna be Amy Schumer and Zooey Deschanel love child. Like she tries to be quirky and sexual and adorable and funny, but like she's annoying. Amy Schumer is a sexual queen and Zooey Deschanel is a quirky princess, Mindy Kaling is just a troll. Please change it." he said.

"Mindy Kaling is funny." I said.

"Is she the one who fisted a guy? I don't think so. Is she the one who dated Anthony Jeselnik? No. Amy is better." Kellin said.

"Kellin." I said.

"And like Anthony is hot. I'd climb that guy like a tree, oh sit on my face please." Kellin said. I just laughed and turned the tv off.

Kellin got up and pulled down the legs of his gray baggy sweats. He flipped me off and went into the kitchen and grabbed some ice cream, chocolate, and kettle corn.

"Hey, I'm gonna go get food, want anything?" I asked.

"Where from?"

"McDonald's." I said.

"One, ew. Two, I'm not feeling up for MickeyD's. Three, it's all gonna go to my thighs." he groaned.

"I'll bring you chipotle and a peach green tea lemonade from Starbucks. How's that?" he asked. He nodded and I left.

++

"Mm, this is orgasmic." Kellin moaned.

"How come you never moan like that when we're having sex?" I asked, curiosity taking over me.

"You don't know how to properly please me. Rub me a little." he said.

"What is there to rub?" I asked.

"Well, if i was a girl, there'd be a cli-"

"You watch too much Amy. Go to bed." I said.

"No, I wanna keep hanging out with you." he said.

"Okay one, you're being clingy. Two, you need sleep. Three, you're such a girl."

"Viiiic!" he yelled. I just laughed and got up. I head out the door and was about to get in my car until I got a message.

Kellbell : you didn't even say bye to me, ugh

Kellbell : please come back in

Kellbell : I'll let you fuck me, babe.

I just laughed and went back in. He stood up and ran to me, throwing himself onto me and wrapping his legs around me. I laughed as he began kissing all over my face.

"Okay, I'll stay the night, but no sex for you." I said. He nodded and I walked, with him still clinging on to me, to his room.

"You're such a girl" I said.

__

I fücking hate Mindy Kaling ugh. Amy Schumer is like the best. If i had to compare them to cartoons, Amy would def be South Park and Mindy would be The Simpson's. I hate the Simpson's

Didn't proofread.

-Senpai