me and payton were still awake and it was 2am . we went live for a little bit and guessed people and were fooling around .
i was currently doing his make up and he was looking gorgeous . i might just turn lesbian for him right now .
i recorded him and posted it on my finsta . (lets pretend thats payton)
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Liked by parker.bock and 537,837 others thatonebitchy/n he said i looked cute , i thought he looked cuter 👥 paytonmoormeier View All 187,266 Comments paytonmoormeier i actually think i look cuter now... thatonebitchy/n my confidence went 📉 jadenhossler who is that😍😍 luvanthony tell them to check dms🤤 youisbebe WOW paytonsbubble i ship the both of you HIGHKeY
"can i take it off?" payton asked putting his phone down and looking at me .
"yess" i said extending the word with sadness in my tone .
"aww dont be sad. we can do face masks if you want" he said walking into the bathroom with make up remover wipes on his hand .
"really?!" i said with excitement now .
"yeah" he said we a small chuckle at the end
i went into my suitcase and pulled out charcoal face masks .
when i finished putting it on his cace after a very long time because he wouldnt stay still , we took a few pictures but didnt post them . well he sent his streaks of a horrible picture of me .
"payton i have to tell you something" i said as i was playing with his hair while watching a movie .
"whats up" he said still focused on the comedy movie . it took me a minute for the words to come out of my mouth .
"me and josh kissed" he shot up and looked at me .
"what? why? when? why!" i was able to hear the hurt in his voice .
i showed him the texts first and he dropped my phone on the bed .
"why would you text him first? after everything that hes done to you?!"
"he said he wanted to apologize before! so i wanted to hear it.."
"so what happened before i came in here?" he said more calmly .
"i told him off . i asked him why he doesnt want to tell nessa . then he kissed me.. and i didn't pull away"
"i gotta go" he went to the bathroom and i heard the rip of him taking the mask off .
"its almost 4am where are you going?" i asked getting up and following him around the hotel.
"i just dont think you care about how i feel. i told you how i feel about you and you and one of my bestfriends are sucking eachothers face"
i ran to the door and blocked it from him reaching it.
"it wasnt like that! payton can we just sit and talkabout this ? please? im sorry! i-" my voice began to crack and i was trying to keep the tears back
"can you please move. we can talk about this tomorrow"
"payton i have never known what it feels like to be loved. i dont know what it is! im sorry i did this. i know i messed up. i just want to be loved by someone . not because of who i am but just for me. josh fucking used me. i wasn't the only one who anthony liked"
"what have i been doing to you? i've been slowly giving you my love" i saw tears start to fall from his cheeks.
"i wasn't expecting him to kiss me . you heard how he was when he called me the last day of your shoot" he didnt say anything for a minute .
"i dont wanna talk about this anymore"
"thats okay! at least tell me you arent mad at me" i said and slowly walked away from the door and towards him.
"you're right. im not mad at you. i just thought i would have expected more from you" he said and he walked out the door .
i walked to the bed and dug my face into the pillows . i started to scroll through my memories and camera roll of these past few days with payton.
tears came down one after the other , seeing all those happy moments i had with him and i just ruined the best friendship ive had.
it was now 4am and i decided to take a shower. i wasnt going to let anyone know something was wrong with me.
when i got out of the shower i did my make up and wore
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once my hair was dried i curled my hair. i checked the time and it was now 6am. i got my mini backpack and put my phone charger , and airpods in there. along with hair ties and extra clothing(long shirt and leggings).
i was debating if i should stay in the room and wait till payton comes back so i could talk to him or leave just so i couod save the tears if he decides to ignore me .
• soo lmk what she or you should do. ima try to be more active but this online school has been taking uo my whole time. ima try to update again soon
