A second chance.
That was what I wished for.
The one thing I prayed for every night before I sleep. The one thing I prayed for, at the very night before I woke up in an entirely different life.
A new life.
My second chance.
❈❈❈
I was 30 years old wh...
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Jimin joined me in my bed that night.
We were lying on our sides and facing each other, talking about all the pointless things in life to get my mind away from the throbbing pain on my back, when he reached out, brushing his fingers gently across my cheek.
"You are so beautiful," he suddenly whispered. I was caught off guard that I fell silent for a moment, before I started laughing. I could not believe that he would randomly say such a sweet thing right in the middle of mint chocolate versus cookie dough ice cream flavour discourse we were having.
"That was so random," I whispered back. The goofy smile on my face refused to stay clear that I had to hide it by pressing my face down on my pillows.
"It just came to my mind," he said, chuckling while he tilted my chin up so I could look at him again. He grazed his thumb gently across my lips before replacing it with a kiss. "I want to fall asleep watching your face and listening to your voice, then wake up to see this face and this smile again the next morning."
"Are you trying to tell me that you're getting sleepy?" I teased him, while he only smiled at me.
"Aren't you the one who is supposed to be asleep?" he asked me. "I can tell that you're forcing yourself to keep your eyes open. You must be tired after the long day you've had."
I took his hand and started kissing his knuckles. "I am really tired. But I'm too scared to sleep."
Jimin furrowed his brows as he looked at me. "Why?"
Shrugging, I could only tell him the truth. Or at least, half of it. "I feel calm when I'm with you. I don't want to wake up to find you gone."
As I looked into his eyes, all of the things I was so afraid of, all of my fears came to mind.
The truth was, I was too afraid to sleep because I had feared that I would not wake up the next morning. Or that I would wake up, only to find out that everything around me had disappeared.
Would it be wrong of me to feel as if all of this might fade away? I kept feeling as if he would disappear from my sight anytime I looked away and I refused to have that. It had been so long for me to feel like this. To feel something so intense that I just wanted to grab him tight and not let go before he could fade away.
Jimin reached out, cupping my cheek with his palm to bring me back to him and not lose myself in my thoughts. His lips tilted up to a small smile when he promised me, "I'll be here when you wake up. I'll never leave you, ______. Not unless you want me to."
"Promise?"
His smile didn't change, but his gaze did. There was something in his eyes that told me how scared he was to make that promise. Instead of giving me an answer, he leaned closer and kissed my lips gently, giving me his silent answer that I could hold on to instead of his words.
