A second chance.
That was what I wished for.
The one thing I prayed for every night before I sleep. The one thing I prayed for, at the very night before I woke up in an entirely different life.
A new life.
My second chance.
❈❈❈
I was 30 years old wh...
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—First life. Jung Family's Residence, year 2027—
Memory is a strange thing.
I had always believed that my mind functioned the same way as a giant cabinet, as though it was sectioned in different drawers and shelves where I could file away pieces of my memories. And I would be able to decide which ones to keep and to look back to whenever I needed, or which ones to store away in the deepest ends of those storages for me to never look at again. But memories, whether good or bad, would still find their way to creep back out from the imagery storages I have created for myself when least expected.
Just like the one that came uninvited the minute I stood in front of my old house.
Our old house.
The house where Hoseok and I grew up in, where we experienced all the early lessons in life, and where our family had once lived in harmony and peace. Once. And right the moment I stepped out of the car and stood facing the old house—the house that somehow looked pretty much the same except for the fresh painted walls, rusty mahogany floorings on the porch instead of the fresh wooden ones that used to welcome us home, and the bright coloured roof tiles as an exchange for the old dusty discoloured ones that was vividly recorded inside my head. I felt as if I could physically see my younger self running out of the house, all in rage and with tears of my broken heart the way I did on the very day I left it, bags in hand that were filled with the only belongings I could reach for in such haste before I lost every bit of the self-restraint I had left. I could even hear the door slamming behind me the same way as the day I ran away from it, and the faint sobs that came out of me as I reached further and further away down the street.
"Are you alright?"
Hoseok took a step forward to stand by my side, placing his hand on my back to soothe away the tension that had taken over my whole body. He had a concerned frown when I turned to look at him, letting me know that he could read my worries of facing that painful past.
"I'm okay. I will be," I assured him, forcing a smile just to make him believe me—even if I could not trust my own words as I voiced them out loud. "I just need a moment. It's been so long since—"
Hoseok smiled at me, nodding his head gently while gently stroking my back. "I understand. Take your time, you don't have to force it."
"No, I—" I stopped and took a deep breath, turning to face the house again as I tried my best to muster all the courage I needed. "I have to do this, Hoseok. It's now or never."
His smile turned a bit wider with pride as he stroke my hair gently. "The decision is all yours to take. I'll be here for you no matter what happens."
I took a few deep breaths before I finally made my move, taking the few long strides of footsteps towards the porch. Although right when we were finally there, we could only stand side by side in silence. My body suddenly felt as heavy as lead when I was about to knock on the wooden door. I took a moment to control my emotions, rubbing my sweaty palms over my thighs repeatedly before I finally gave the door a few knocks. It didn't take long until I heard footsteps coming towards the door, the familiar faint sound of a female voice answering with, "I'm coming," and I had to take a sharp deep breath to prepare myself to face a painful part of my past.
