Undateable

Forty-Two

Cade's P.O.V.

She didn't even look at me. She kept her eyes low, and her attention shut off. It was like she was deep in thought and I was desperate to know what was going on in that head of hers. But I couldn't even see Kaia's eyes. It was like Kaia knew I was in the room and she made sure that she wouldn't even look at me to give me the pleasure of seeing her face. It has been like this for a few days and I'm starting to accept that this is our future will be like for a while.

I've been kept awake for the past few days just thinking: should I give upon Kaia or should I keep fighting? I couldn't figure it out. There were so many conflicting thoughts rushing through my mind, I just couldn't figure out what I should do. Perhaps this is what I deserve? After all the pain I had caused to so many different people at school, even mom and dad, perhaps Kaia shouldn't forgive me.

I think mom and dad noticed. That I have been acting strangely. They would walk into my room every night, look at him with a concerned expression before turning around and leaving. I wondered whether they wanted to say something, but I never bothered to ask. In fact, I rather they left me alone. I laid in bed practically all night long, and just thought to myself and I hated it. I wanted to escape from this taunting pain and get back to my life. But I knew, this pain wasn't going to last forever. I was going to get over it. Maybe not today, or tomorrow. But I will get over it, eventually.

A knock echoed in my room. I muffled a response and the doors open. Dad walked in and he looked nervous. He scratched the back of his neck, his eyes lowered before he took a seat at the end of my bed. Frowning, I sat up and watched him. What did he want now?

"So, son," he begun. "I have been noticing that you are not acting like your usual self."

"And what would be my usual self?" I replied with irritation.

Dad cleared his throat. He muttered to himself that he couldn't believe he was doing this before he moved his brown eyes towards me. "Not like I'm complaining or anything, but I have noticed that you are much glummer that you usually are – not getting into any trouble."

"I finally stop causing a fuss at school and now it's concerning to you?" I scoffed.

"Usually I wouldn't care, but seeing you do nothing but lay in your room all day, watching the ceiling as if you were questioning what is the meaning of life – you can't blame me for finding it a bit concerning."

I pursed my lips.

"Tell me what happened." It sounded more like a demand rather than a request, despite the softness in his voice.

It was odd, no doubt about it. I had not seen dad approach me like this before. Mom, definitely. But never dad. I wondered how bad I've acted for dad to be the one to talk to me and ask me to talk about my problems.

"I don't need a therapist," I complained.

"I'm not your therapist. I'm your dad, this is what I'm supposed to do," he said. Again, sounded like he was uncertain. He's been a dad for eighteen years and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do as a dad?

"Kaia and I broke up," I stated.

"Ah, I see."

"I did something bad," I found myself adding.

Dad nodded.

"I don't think she'll ever forgive me."

"So, you finally told her the truth?"

"Not exactly. She found out by overhearing me talk to someone else about it."

Dad nodded again and this time, sighed. He turned to me, his hand on my shoulder as he stared deep into my eyes. I felt as though he was going to tell me that she will, and I have to give her time. Or that I'm being too hard on myself. I felt as though he was going to tell me something that would make me feel better, but I doubt anything he would say could do such a thing.