Undateable

Thirty-Seven

The moment I entered the cafeteria, I was met with silence. Eyes were on me and I felt like an obscene creature, shunned by society already. I clear my throat, ignoring the eyes and move past the tables to buy lunch. I don't think I can tolerate anymore of Aunt Meredith's salads. I lost more than a kilo and I think I'm already malnourished.

"Can you believe it? She broke up with Cade!" Someone whispered.

I ignored it. Even though what they were saying was a lie, I don't bother correcting them. How could one correct something like without being prepared to be embarrassed? If I tell people that Cade was the one who broke up with me, then people would feel bad for me or laugh at me. I already know a number of people who will approach me and say, 'I told you so.'

But then if I leave it and Cade does the unbelievable: tell people he was the one that actually broke up with me. People would label me as a liar.

I grab a tray and pile it up with food that looked somewhat edible. I head to our normal table and sit in silence. Kieran and Vi hasn't arrived yet. I ignore the stares and go on my merry way. I stare down at my phone, pretending to act like I'm not bothered at all by the stares or I'm not completely affected from breaking up with Cade.

I can't show any weakness. They can't know that I'm dying inside and that I'm actually upset about the break up.

I take a bite out of the pasta and scroll through Facebook, not really paying attention to what I was looking at.

"Maybe she found out that Cade was playing with her?" I hear.

"I honestly thought this time would be different."

I thought so too. But then Cade said he wants to get back with me. What did he mean by that? It just made everything so much more confusing, and I'm starting to remember more and more every day why I declared I wouldn't date during high school. High school dating drama is ridiculously dramatic. Unnecessary heart break. Immature boys. Popularity. Friendship. Backstabbers. All these things exist in high school. I can't wait to get out of it.

I hear a chair nearby scrape against the floor, causing me to look away from my phone and actually look. I find Cade sitting directly in front of me, unpacking his lunch casually on the table as though I'm not even here.

"Uh, may I help you?" I frown.

Cade ignores me. He unwraps his sandwich and takes a big bite out of it. His eyes not even meeting mine, as though his eyes sees one thing and one thing only: the sandwich. I clear my throat, trying to capture his attention and finally, his brown eyes move to me.

"Hey," he says in between bites.

I cringe.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm eating," he grumbled.

I rolled my eyes. "Clearly, but why on this table?"

"I always eat lunch with you," he states as though it's the most obvious answer.

It's not! Hasn't he dated enough girls to know that after a break up, they don't sit with each other anymore. Why isn't he avoiding me like a normal human boy? Why is he making this so much more complicated than it already is?

"Not anymore, you don't. Go away, Cade," I say.

"He must really want to be with her," I hear someone else says. I turn and glare at the person immediately, unable to tolerate the loud gossip lurking in the cafeteria.

I look at two freshmen girls, eyes widening as our eyes meet. They looked away immediately and whisper to each other. I roll my eyes. Typical.

I turn back to Cade who I find is watching me intently. Suddenly, I feel a wave of discomfort overcome me and I shift in my position awkwardly. I look away and stare at my pasta, hoping Cade would stop looking. But he doesn't. What's wrong with him?