Incomplete (A VA Fanfic One-Shots & Shorts Collection)

Loves, Labors, Loss

RPOV
"For someone who claims to want to gather as much information as possible, you sure do have a hell of a lot to figure out about yourself," Mason sighed tiredly before walking out of the room with a slam of the door being the only sign of just how pissed he was.

He was right, though. I had a lot of growing up to do about this messed up attraction to Dimitri and being in love with him situation. Dimitri'd clearly moved on with Tasha; she made him happy and could give him kids—something he wanted and deserved. No matter how much I loved him and wanted to be with him, it was that love that led me to believe I had to be strong enough to let him go. I wanted him happy, no matter how much pain that brought me. I loved him with all my heart, but I'd never be able to be with him.

I buried into the huger than huge bed's comforter. Wanting to disappear in it, hide away from the world and Dimitri. I was sick of fighting with the man I loved... well, fighting verbally, physically, in training... yeah, that was another thing entirely. Sensations and memories of the feel of his warm skin on mine, the taste of his breath, the feel of his body pinning mine to the gym floor—or even the store room wall—all assaulted my mind and overloaded my senses. Unbidden, tears sprung in my eyes as the ache of loss tore at my chest and stomach.

A knock sounded on the door. Please don't be him, please don't be Dimitri, please don't be Dimitri. I would always love him, and it hurt to think I was reluctantly, but willingly, handing him over to another woman.
"Rose? Rose are you in there?" came Dimitri's honey accent that just made me melt even when I tried to fight it and fought to stop its effect on me showing.
I pulled myself off the bed and made a mad dash for the bathroom to rinse away my tear stains before returning to the door Dimitri was knocking on again.
"Hi," I greeted almost shyly, definitely being uncharacteristically timid.
"Rose," his voice was anything but tough-love mentor right now and his eyes flicked around. I got the message before he said the words. "I want," he paused then edited, "need, to talk to you, Rose." If I didn't know better, I'd say he was nearly scared of me, of my reaction. Then he uttered the words I was thinking and wanting to say, "I'm tired of this arguing."
"So am I," I said and pulled the door back, gesturing him in. "Do you want to come in?"
"Yes," he stepped over the threshold, "thank you, Roza."

The use of my Russian nickname caught me a little off guard while I shut—and locked—the door. He only used that when he was letting himself acknowledge and feel his love for me. He hadn't slipped in weeks, and I'd begun to believe he never would... especially with Tasha around.

"No worries. Take a seat," I gestured to the plush sofa that sat opposite the end of my bed. "I have a feeling this'll take longer than it's supposed to," I sighed and sat on the end of the rumpled bed.
"Either you've been crying and hiding in that comforter, or another male has been in here with you that shouldn't," Dimitri observed as he sat on the sofa and leaned forward, elbows on knees, chin in the palms of his hands. His words didn't come out like an amused but disciplining teacher, but soft and tender, concerned and maybe even jealous. His mask was down enough to see he was definitely worried about me in a way no teacher should be. It made my heart skip a beat. "Roza," Dimitri nearly groaned as he took in my features and what I was sitting on. All of a sudden I realised what was going through his head. I saw it in his eyes, he was vividly remembering us being ensnared by Victor's insidious lust charm and him taking me to bed— causing his dorm bed sheets to be just this rumpled, more so. "Stop being a tease," Dimitri's words were shocking enough, but the way he'd delivered it surprised me more, so so much more. He'd all but moaned the words, in a very sexual tone that had my own body reacting in a very worrying way.
"Where else am I to sit?" I asked innocently.
"With me?" asked Dimitri and he sat back when I stood and slowly sauntered over to him.
"Why are you here, Dimitri?" I asked curiously while standing over his knees; if I sat the right way, I would straddle his lap.
"I had to tell you that I told Tasha no," he said, his dark brown eyes boring into mine as his hands grabbed my hips to guide me to sit on his lap.
"B-but you could have had a baby," I argued, "and her interest in you rivals mine," I admitted.
"Exactly," whispered Dimitri, one hand now on my butt and one on the middle of my back. "And I can't return that," the hand on my butt brought me further forward, closer to him, while the one on the middle of my back lightly trailed up my spine and over my left shoulder. I failed suppressing the shiver his burning feather-light touch created. "Not when one special young woman already holds my heart," his right hand moved over my left breast and between them to press his palm directly over my heart. "You," breathed Dimitri as his eyes met mine. "You claimed my heart the second I laid eyes on you, Roza. It took that charm to truly understand the magnitude of what we have, but I'm sick of it, of fighting it that is." His right hand glided back up, up my neck, across my jaw, and over my cheekbone, right up and into my hair. A lock was being wound around his fingers as he regarded me absolutely adoringly and with utter seriousness. I saw it then, I wasn't just beautiful in his eyes, he wasn't just burned by my beauty.
"I'm your salvation," I breathed in astonishment.
"How, Rose?" he whimpered in... well... fear. I'd done it, figured out yet another of his secrets. I could see it in the way he looked at me, I saw it in his eyes. I gave him peace, just as he did me, but that came at a cost... to both of us. We knew things about the other that we didn't want to acknowledge ourselves, things we didn't want the other to know. "How do you do that? How do you know me so well?" His fear of me was clear in his eyes, oh so clear.
"How do you know things about me I don't know?" I questioned quietly in response. "How the hell do you know how to go from making me want to hit you one second to kiss you the next?"
"You scare me, Rose," admitted Dimitri, both hands tracing patterns on my back. "That day," the kiss against the wall, we both knew he meant that day, "you figured out my biggest struggle, my deepest secret, and it scared me. You scare me, Roza. It made me want to squirm. I can't hide from you, and that totally and absolutely terrifies me." Yet another piece of the puzzle fell into place, I understood him a little bit more.
"Tasha doesn't get you the way I do, she doesn't understand," I stated and his hands froze on my back. I was right. "It's why you told her no, no matter how easy it would be to be with her." Just like my situation with Mason.
"Exactly. It's why I'm sick of fighting you, of fighting my feelings for you, of trying to pretend that my attraction to you will ease if I'm not around you. If anything, the reverse occurs." Dimitri came back to life and pulled me into an earth-shattering kiss. "I can't lose you, Rose. You are my life, my home, my family now." He regarded me seriously again, meaning every word.
"It's selfish of me to keep you here," I tried to rebut, but only got shushed by Dimitri's forefinger tracing my slightly swollen lips.
"It's selfish of me to stay, Roza. But I can't stay away. I need you, Rose. I need you in my life to be complete, to be happy and content. I know I should go, I know going is the logical thing, I know all the reasons I should stay away. But I'm sick of being reasonable and responsible. Being with you is the most reckless, risky, and selfish thing I'll ever do, but I have to have you in my life, Roza."
"Oh, Dimitri," I sighed lovingly and understandingly, quickly burrowing into the crook of his neck.
"We will make this work, Roza. I promise we will find a way to be together," he murmured lovingly and resolutely while holding me tightly and running a hand through my hair.