Incomplete (A VA Fanfic One-Shots & Shorts Collection)

A Bound Belikov a different way

DPOV
I felt her fear before she pulled me in. It was a month since the cabin, attack and rescue. A month since I'd died. And it was tearing her up. I couldn't get to her to pull her out of it. I was still struggling to get out of her head, her nightmare, her torture cell which was taking her sleep every night. I only managed to snap out of her head seconds before she awoke with a scream. The poor novices were learning to ignore it but I couldn't. My love was in absolute agony and I could feel it.
Once at her door I softly whispered "Rose, let me in," so only she could hear- hopefully. 'It's unlocked Comrade, it always is now.' I opened up, stepped through, shut the door and locked it, and joined my Roza on the bed. "Oh Roza. Oh my Roza. I love you. I'm here. It was only a dream, only a dream." I stroked her damp hair and held her close. She leaned into my chest and sobbed.
"You know it's true. It happened. It happened. I lost you."
"Shhh. Settle my love. I'm right here. I'm right here. It didn't happen then. It didn't happen then. I love you, I'm right here and I love you. If it's any consolation milaya, I lost you in the crash- before I found you, before I knew I needed you. We've both lost the other, Roza, but we're both alive. We're both alive." She slowly started settling.
"You're right. I just don't want you to go through the insanity side, or the ghosts. The Strigoi alarm is kinda cool- mighty useful too."
"Yeah. I guess it would be. The ghosts are scary enough when you can't see them. What did you see that day on the plane? In Martinsville?" The images flashed through her mind and pulsed into mine before she could even begin to try explaining. "Oh Roza. Oh my Roza. Now I know why you hated me using the word 'think'. I should have known you'd never lie, that in coming back from death you'd be different, that we truly had no scope of what shadow kissed meant and what's involved."
"Yeah," she replayed all the other things that were going on at the same time so she couldn't connect the dots. And the night it all started- Lissa love scene and being pulled in and the ghosts starting the night that was the one before the beginning of field experience.
"Roza," I quietly chuckled. "If I'd been through that then gotten Christian, well your reaction is tame." I felt the amusement radiating off her.
"I owe him my life you know." Her near miss near the chapel replayed in her mind.
"Then I owe him mine too." If Roza had died so would I. "I love you Roza, really."
"I love you too, Comrade." And I could feel how powerful and strong it was, how strong it always had been, had how much it had grown since the cabin.
"I can feel it, my love. It's amazing, so strong and powerful. So beautiful. I'm very lucky to be bound to you, to the woman I love. I'm so lucky to be able to feel that, to understand just how much you love me, to understand the effect I have on you and the power I wield over you. No one gets to understand you as I do." She chuckled though she wasn't really amused as she thought about her experience of being bonded to Lissa.
"Lissa doesn't understand. She doesn't see that I can feel and hear that she doesn't really give two shits about me anymore. She doesn't get that I have to put up with her blindness. That it's only the bond that clues me in. She doesn't really come willingly to me. She says I'm her sister still but doesn't act like it."
"Yet you give up everything for her because of the bond and being her guardian. You put her first as friend, family and charge but she doesn't see it. She doesn't see the pain she inflicts then doesn't see she doesn't see it. She doesn't suspect anything."
"It's part of why I don't tell her about this. Us."
"She doesn't even see you could possibly be slightly interested in me."
"Slightly interested? Try completely obsessed and addicted. Oh, and totally in love with all my being."
"Oh Roza." I kissed her forehead and she giggled. "I know how totally gone you are. I know you're all mine. I'm all yours, you know."
"I can see that. I can see your shadow kissed ring, the honesty of your last statement, your love and passion."
"You've pulled up my aura?" I asked it as a question even though I knew the answer.
"Yes. It's beautiful. Even with a ring of darkness, it's so beautiful. I'm lucky to see that. I'm lucky I cause that emotion in you. God, things just got interesting."
"Roza, things got interesting the second I laid eyes on you in Portland. You never gave me a chance to choose you, you never left me with the chance to choose to love you, to protect you." I felt a weird tingling in my brain and when I checked the bond I realised she'd sifted through my memories.
"I truly didn't."
"Rose, love, I felt you checking my memories." I let a slight trace of humour and a lot of curiosity come through. I had no privacy anyway and she had every right as my other half to know the truth so I wasn't mad. Not like Lissa woulda been.
"Sorry. I was curious."
"I'm not mad. You have a right to know. As both my soulmate and bond mate. And you should explore your magic."
"God, what did I do to end up with you?"
"You exist. I was made for you. Enough said."
"It works in reverse Comrade. I was made for you too, and all you have to do is exist. I love you."
"I love you too. So much, so so much." I could feel she was beginning to tire. It was time for me to leave. I'd been here too long if anyone had seen but I couldn't not respond to how she'd come out of her nightmare. "I hate to say this Roza-"
"You've got to go. I know. I'll be fine Dimitri, really. I'll see you in training. I love you."
"I love you too." I kissed her passionately before leaving and I could tell I'd reassured her and brought her comfort no one else would, let alone could.