When it Happened *(Completed) EDITING

CHAPTER 14

What did I just do? What just happened? I'm in shock. He didn't even try to convince me that everything will be alright or just argue with me. Was I right or wrong? I'm thinking about what Lyla would think of me, let alone Micheal. I sit on the edge of my bed and start to cry. I have to tell myself, this was a mistake. I can't believe I just threw him out of the house, the way I did, after the passion we just had, There was a spark. He said he wanted to get to know me. But why does he, I'm not his age. He's so young. I'm so fucking confused.

I can't seem to stop crying as I have my face in my hands and inhale his scent on my hands. I let out a long sigh as my stomach flipped just with the scent of his cologne. This is such a mess. My head is all over the place. I thought separating from Michael and getting divorced was confusing enough but this...

I try to gather myself. I stand up from my bed. Walk to the bathroom and straight to the shower, turn the faucet on. I can't bare to smell his scent on me. I need to shower this headache off. My anxiety level is hitting the rough. Was it the wine? Couldn't be. It's not the first time I've drunk a bottle and a half. I'm an adult, I can handle anything. But why does it seem I can't handle what I just did?

After a quick shower and dry off. I walk over to my vanity sink and stare into the mirror. Telling myself, I needed to do this. It was not right. But, his face doesn't leave my thoughts, how upset he looked when I told him to leave after he admitted he wanted to get to know me. Do I have him all wrong? I do...he wouldn't have shown up here, with the excuse of saying goodbye to Lyla. He wanted to see me. I take a deep breath. I need to sleep. I can't drive myself insane.

The next morning, Alexa buzzes off as I had set it for 6:30 am. BITCH

I feel like shit. My head is pounding. I can't help but think about the shit I pulled yesterday. I tossed and turned all night. I feel angry with myself, ashamed, confused, but mostly saddened by how I through him out. I keep rethinking how shocked and confused he looked when I was telling him all that I said. 

How can I have talked to him that way when he did nothing wrong. I pushed it, I told him to take me to my bed. I reach over and grab my iPhone and check and see if Lyla called in the midst of it all? I turn it on. nothing. Why hasn't she called me?

I turn over and face the side where Joe was laying on, grab the pillow and his scent just lingered through me. Oh, Alix, you fucked up. The series of drinking too much, with the combination of everything that went on, became a feeling in which my anxiety level has risen, a high note and the guilt I'm carrying sucks. Now what? Just like Joe mentioned, "Now what?"

I think. I'll go to the mall, it's Sunday, it makes every woman or man feel better to spend money on what makes them feel satisfied after they know how they fucked up on something or another. Will he call me? 

No, because I never gave him my number and he never gave me his. So, Alix, Now what, any more great ideas now?

I drag myself out of bed, walk to the closet, grab my robe, slip it on and head downstairs. I'm in dire need of coffee in my system. I'll make my own. I can't bump into him at the coffee shop, so soon. What will I say? How awkward would that be? 

God, I need to call Linda and ask her for advice. She's used to this shit. Wait, I can't tell her. I'll never hear the end of it. Besides, what if this was just a fling and he was acting as he cared. Ok, now I need coffee before I crack right here.

The house seems so quiet and peaceful even after the General Hospital drama I pulled last night. I miss Lyla so much, damn she hasn't even called. She better have a great excuse. I laugh at the fact that of course, she does, she's across the ocean enjoying the best time of her life. I smile at the thought. I truly admire her.