When it Happened *(Completed) EDITING

CHAPTER 19

As we walk into my bedroom, I remember, he doesn't have overnight clothes to wear. This was not planned again. Many unplanned encounters, Joe and I have. I have nothing for him unless he won't mind if he wears one of my T-shirts. Linda would penalize me. She's not a fan of my wardrobe. So there goes that plan.

I walk straight to my walk-in-closet. Joe is glancing through my room. It's not like he hasn't been here before. It's just under the circumstances we were in the other night, looking at me playing with myself was more important to gaze at, then to look around my bedroom. MMMM Kegel moment. I look over at him and smile. He's so freaking adorable.

"See anything that interests you?"  I asked, taking off my shoes holding myself up on the wall, watching him look at the pictures I have on my wall by the door next to my chest. How embarrassing, he's looking at the one Lyla and I are making a funny face. Jesus. Is there anything sacred?

"I'm trying to see who you really are, Alix," he says, as he's admiring what he's looking at. And the way he said those words, scared me for a moment. Why does he want to see who I really am? I panic and look around the room to see what else can he find, that shows who I am. How ridiculous I'm being. There's nothing I have to hide anyway's 

Can he tell by looking around the room who I am? I look over to my Marta barrel lounge chair, courtesy of Wayfair, by my bedroom window and see the Victoria Secret bags. Shit. He's going to think I bought it for him. Well, maybe, but I don't want to admit it that I'm one in 5 that hasn't bought sexy lingerie in her lifetime. Don't judge.

I walk towards the chair. And secretly scoop up the bag. I turn and he's looking at me, standing by my chest. Is there anything he doesn't notice. But, seeing him standing there, I got a small wind kicked out of me. He's seriously going to stay over tonight. This is not one nightstand. He asked to come over to stay with me. What are we doing?

I stroll over to my closet with the bags, take my robe off the clip on the door as I throw the bags in and shut the door quickly. So dramatic.

I turn and see Joe getting comfortable, opening his jacket, pulls it off, then notices me watching him as he smiles at me unbuttoning his light blue dress shirt. Wow, this is something I wasn't expecting at all tonight. Joe here in my room again and sleeping over. 

So unexpected. After last night, I found it hard to sleep wondering what If it was right or wrong? My head was on so many levels as my mind kept playing back when I told him to leave. And now he's here. This is not how I saw myself two weeks ago for sure. I was living my regular, single, sexless, hopeless, non-romantic life. 

Then, accidentally bump into him, make a total fool of myself and here we are. But let's face it, what are we doing? I for sure didn't expect him to be so honest enough to tell me that he wasn't going to leave without me tonight, that he cares for me and wants to take it slow. 

Are we going to fast? But I really like him. I do. The butterflies I get when he looks at me or walks in a room feels extraordinarily beautiful.

"Everything ok?" he asks. I know he knows I'm a sack of nerves.

"Yes...Yes" I lie and walk into my master bathroom. God, I need to cool off. I grab the surround system remote control on my bathroom vanity. And click it on, put on my playlist. I definitely need to zone off. Joe being here is not making me feel less nervous. Especially now as he's taking off his clothes right in my bedroom. Kegel moment. 

I put on Enigma "Amen" from my playlist. I reach over by the shower and turn on the faucet. I have to hurry before he peeks into the closet and see my bag of tricks. I chuckle. Hey, I'm a woman with needs. What can I say, he makes me feel sexy.