Shatter

Chapter 27

               "Did you think about me? Whenever you were alone or something?" Chandler whispers while he shifts around on the bed, turning his head to look at me while he lay down, using my lap as a pillow.

               "Think about?" I slide my fingers into his hair before he flutters his eyes closed at how relaxing and good my hand on his head feels. "I thought about you, all the time. Whenever I was, really alone, I would-"

               "Look up pictures of me and jerk off?" Chandler smiles before sliding a hand under my knees giving me a slightly sensitive reaction.

               "No. Gosh."

               I should've known he'd say something like that. Idiot.

               "I would listen to a song. Just one in particular, over and over. It just explained how I felt so much...and..." I pause for a second at the remembrance of it, how it just seemed to define me, maybe even before I met Chandler, it explained how I felt about him.

               "What was the name?"

               "I'm not going to tell you." I quickly laugh and look away to hide how flustered I'm getting.

               "Why the fvck not? I think I have right." Chandler begins to pout before smirking at my current state of shyness. "Was it sexual?"

               "What?! No. It wasn't...I'm-I'm not going to tell you, because then you'll look it up, and I don't want you to." That'd just be the end of me. I'd hate it. Well, not hate exactly, but it'd still be embarrassing.

               "Damm right I'd look it up. And I'd do whatever the song talked about. So if it is sexual..." Chandler quickly but smoothly slides his hand on my neck, pulling me down as he comes up to kiss me, his petal soft lips touching mine at an odd angle before I give in to how much I want to comfort him.

               I don't want him to be sad. When I hugged him, and saw him crying, I had to stop myself from crying too, because even though my heart began to ache at just the thought of Chandler suffering, it wasn't about me...it was about him, and he needed me.

               He might not have said it, and he still hasn't told me what happened...but I know something happened, and I don't want him to be alone if he is in pain.

               He's...precious to me, and I want to take care of him in any way I can. If anything, I never want him to feel unloved by me, because...

               I love him so much.

               "...Then I need to know what I have to live up to." Chandler smirks while finishing his sentence, and I just stare at him for a second before we smile at each other with no words passing between us. That is until Chandler's eyes quickly glance at my lips, a thinking face plaguing his features afterwards.

               Oh no...

               "What's wrong?"

               I hear a heavy sigh lift from his throat. "I was just thinking about Dave. About everything. You're really ok with it?" Chandler sits up to get a better look at me and I nearly swoon at how attractive he is with messed up hair after laying down for more than 30 minutes.

               Oh gosh, he's so beautiful...I'm not going to tell him that though because if I did then this evening could go all sorts of ways and...and...