Shatter

Chapter 25

               I start to chew the inside of my cheek when Chandler begins pacing a little, sighing every two seconds and I'm just sitting here, waiting for him to speak to me but it's like he's trying to sort it out inside his head before he can form any words.

               I'm actually starting to get really nervous because I have no idea what it is he's going to tell me and I just hope it's not something bad. I don't think I can take any more besides the ridiculous load I already have to deal with.

               Maybe it's just best to put him out of his misery...

               "Chandler? You know, if you've changed your mind, its ok. You...don't have to tell me, even though, I'm really curious. You can...just, keep it to yourself." It's not intentional but an awkward chuckle does follow my attempt to lighten the mood and I see him pull his tie away before taking off his school jacket as an after effect.

               "Just give me a minute..." He lifts a finger. Index for once and not the middle. Ha. "What I'm gonna tell you, is screwed up, but, important, and it has to do with why Dave has been, fvcking around and, all that sh1t." He runs a hand through his hair and I just suck in my lips before speaking again.

               "That is something I've been wondering about. I mean, yes...I was curious about him from, the beginning. I know he works for your father, and I know you two are friends," I stare up at Chandler only to see him glaring back with an 'Are-you-serious-he-tried-to-rape-you-that...-jerk-is-not-my-friend.' look and I shift a little under his stare before continuing. "You two are around each other...I just didn't know why he was around me. I mean...I always thought he was just pushy."

               "Well, yeah, no fvck Raven. Pushy might be an understatement."

               "Mmmmaybe?" I laugh and he scoffs before sighing and throwing his head back while a frustrated hiss follows up in his previous tracks. "Are you ok?"

               "No. Rave, he-" I watch Chandler's big blue eyes roll around before he winces and lets his shoulders drop. Whatever it is I hope he spits it out because it looks tiring. "Can we just talk about something else?" He sighs again and I nod while he stops pacing.

               "What...did you want to talk about?"

               "Heck, I don't know." He whines. "Uh...Uh...underwear?"

               "What?!"

               "Fvck! No. That's not...Oh gosh." Chandler groans before walking in a circle and I'm suddenly very conscious of the fact that he can see my underwear if I lifted my shirt up a bit, and that he could see a whole lot more if I took my shirt off entirely.

               "Are you...that conscious of me?" My cheeks are already pink, I know it.

               "What? No...I wasn't looking at that." Chandler tries to defend himself but I feel like my appeal just dropped 1,000 points because I'm in nothing but a shirt and underwear and my boyfriend wasn't even thinking about it in a sensual way. He probably wants me to cover up and hide my imperfections...or maybe he's just trying to be decent and didn't even think about how much his words stung.

               Oh my gosh...

               I'm horrible!

               I know it's probably stupid to feel bad about it, but I feel completely unattractive now. I knew I shouldn't have let him see me like this.