Shatter

Chapter 4

               "I'll just get everything settled; you make sure you stick close. You look really cold." Joan pats my back and I giggle after un-strapping my seat belt, the rented car we registered for comfy against my back.

               "I'm fine. Look at me!" I smile and motion to my new school uniform specially supplied to me late yesterday so I wouldn't have to visit the store Chandler took me to before buying me 3 sets of clothes for school, one he ruined when he poured flour...no...Stop.

               I need to tear my mind away from the past. It's the future. I didn't avoid his memory all these months to start thinking about him now...

               Who knows? With luck I'll be able to rewrite every memory and overlap the old events with new ones. Great as that sounds, I don't feel as pumped up to follow through with that plan as I'd like but, at least thinking about it is a start.

               "I am looking girl! That is a short skirt. Stylish though. This place looks expensive." Joan leans down and stares at me for a minute. "Rave, if you were poor back when you came to visit last time, how did you afford a place like this?"

               Oh great.

               "Uh...I..I...am just so lucky." I stutter out before opening my door, my bodyguard hurrying to do the same, her eyes on me as I shrug and try to walk away in the chilly air.

               "Don't go too far! You have your cell phone?!" She puts her hand on her hips and I nod before heading to the outdoor lunch area, the memories of eating lunch with Blair jumping around and I can't help but feel hollow at the sight of empty benches, clear track fields and quiet surroundings except for the slight push of the wind making dead grass shift back and forth slightly.

               It's like something's been sucked out of this place...all the color...I guess I just got used to America so much that, I forgot what it could be like over here at times.

               I missed this place...but it just, it's missing something.

               I sigh and head for the dark green doors, a slight push allowing me inside the halls that are overwhelming me with nostalgia.

               I can't even figure out if this is the correct school or not, it's so hard to decide whether anything has changed or if it's still the same, it's been so long.

               It feels like it's been 8 years instead of 1. I was only here for 3 months so it's understandable some things are going to seem off.

               Come to think of it...isn't Kevin still working here?

               Last time I heard about him he was. I hope he's still around. I know mom will hate it and everything but I want to see Aunt Vera. I miss her. I really miss her.

               The bond we had so long ago felt like it was broken when she found out about Chandler and I...I...No! Why?! Why am I thinking about him again?

               I stop walking for a second, my long hair pulled out of its bow and I laugh at myself before walking toward the entrance lobby, goose bumps running up and down my skin at the thousands of times I crossed this light blush colored tile floor, the ceiling high and the staircases looped as they spiral upwards to the second floor.

               I love this school.

               Private tutoring was interesting at first, but when it just kept overloading and my teacher demanded I stop writing, my parents obliging her, it lost all its charm and this was the only place I yearned to learn new things at ever since.