Shatter

Chapter 32

               I finished preparing my clutch by setting my cell phone inside, and clicking it shut before I looked at myself in the mirror one last time.

               First thing I check is my practically jet black hair falling in waves down to my back as I gave it plenty of volume up top and parted it in the middle with slight swirls covering my slender pale cheeks as my light green eyes shimmer past my long lashes.

               My Christmas red Chiffon fabric fashioned dress is hugging on my waist pretty attentively, goodness, and the square neck line is actually cutting it a bit low. The thing that I love most about this dress though, are the arms. They're a very see through fabric in the fashion of pirate sleeves like they have in movies that aren't even covering my shoulders.

               I'm extremely exposed because of this neckline, and even though it's a bit nerve-wracking that it's showing so much of my pale white skin, it looks, almost, seductive.

               I was going to wear a necklace, but for some reason, I didn't want to put anything on my bare collar bones that could pass as graceful as they accentuate my breasts and other womanly features.

               As for the skirt, it's actually really loose and layered too with only a few sheets of soft cloth barely resting around my hips. In the front I can see how the fabric is flowing towards the sides and around the back so that from the knee down my slender legs are visible through the dress.

               To finish the look, I choose some simple red high heels with a band going around my ankle and an almost pointed toe to it.

               If I were 14, I'd look like my head was too big for my body and be extremely nervous to go out in anything like this, let alone allow Chandler to see me in it, but, I look so, curvy and feminine that, I'm incredibly anxious to see him.

               My mind is still swirling from what happened a few hours ago, I've been too scared to do anything like contact Chan or anything, but I pushed myself to get ready because I haven't spoken or really grasped him in 2 days and I'm at my limit where I can't go without him another night.

               I think there's also a part of me that's dying to go to him because I just want to reaffirm that he's mine and I'm his and that even though I've just been told to leave the country and actually stay away from the one I love...I'm scared that something's going to happen and I won't be able to do anything about it even though I've been convincing myself I would.

               I just don't know right now.

               Is it the way I feel and think that is what I should listen to? Or is Mr. Riggs right? All his insightful words as to how I think and how we feel about each other...he seems so sure.

               I'm not fooling myself. That's one thing I promised I'm not going to do.

               But concerning me, fighting till the end...I never stopped to wonder if that was me fooling myself into thinking we could stay together and beat the odds.

               Gosh, I don't want to think about that.

               I just want to go to Chandler where everything will make sense.

               One jingle from my cell phone and I can already see Joan's face along with the message icon telling me she's probably ready to go if I am.

               I can't help but sigh at the fact that I'm going to be stuck in a car with her for more than 5 minutes given lately she's been a little silent or impatient with a few things like school issues or errands my mom has been instructing her to dabble in.