❛ 𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐥𝐚𝐧. 𝗇𝖼𝗍 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝗆𝖾𝗆𝖻𝖾𝗋

◎ Left Unsaid ◎

A/N; This takes place before Lachlan got into the accident.

_ _ _ _ _ _ 

After a lengthy flight of no rest and mountains of anxiety, Nct had landed in LA, though with their packed schedule and bossy members of staff - who were just as tired and jet-lagged as the boys - they were rushed straight into hair and makeup for their first interview in America. Chaehyun was not in the mood to be messing around, he hadn't had any sleep and the crew was on his back for being 'too slow', honestly, he was ready to fight at this point. He rubbed his tired, chocolate brown eyes and sat patiently waiting for the stylist to finish up with his hair. 

"I heard you got told off." Mark's voice met his ears and Chaehyun nodded, much to the dismay of his stylist. She cursed under her breath causing Chaehyun to internally groan. Seems like everybody is short tempered today, he thought to himself and the thoughts remained in his brain, the stylists were usually very nice and he didn't really want to insult her when she could just be having a bad day too. 

"Three staff members yelled at me for being 'too slow' like, what do they expect? I am running off 0 hours of sleep, a single apple since yesterday evening. I'm obviously going to be slow, I'm tired as shit and feel like my legs are about to give in! Just because they're in pissy moods doesn't mean they should take it out on me! I'm tired too!" It wasn't often that Chaehyun had outbursts like these, he was normally always respectful when it came to staff and the way they treated the boys so for Mark to watch him sit there ranting was different for the both of them.

Johnny entered the room, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What's with the yelling? Is everyone okay?" Mark nodded towards a fuming Chaehyun who had his arms folded and was glaring at himself in the mirror. The stylist had since walked away having finished his hair, but Chaehyun remained seated. "Chae, is everything alright? You've been acting offish ever since this morning and we're all worried." 

Chaehyun's jaw clenched as the tears began to fill up in his eyes. Johnny's eyebrows furrowed, a  mixture of worry and confusion covered his expression. This really wasn't like Chaehyun; he doesn't cry easily. It takes a lot to push the boy to tears and so, Johnny knew he had to get Taeyong. Mark wrapped an arm around the boy who only looked away, hiding his eyes from his friends. 

"We're waiting on, Lachlan. Again." One of the staff members groaned from outside the room and Mark had to literally hold Chaehyun down to stop him from storming through the door and tackling the staff to the ground. Johnny's voice was then heard, most likely explaining the situation to whoever was outside that door with the other workers. He could barely make out the murmurs from Doyoung, Yuta and Sicheng asking if their member was doing okay. It wasn't long before a panicked Taeyong burst through the door and gestured for Mark to leave. 

"Thanks, Mark, I'll take it from here." Chaehyun wiped his eyes and quietly thanked Mark himself as he exited the room. Taeyong slid into the seat next to him and wrapped an arm around the younger boy and in that exact moment, he completely broke out into a fit of sobs. His head fell against Taeyong's chest as he cried and he could hardly feel the hands of his Hyung running through his hair. "It's alright, just get them out and then we'll talk yeah?" Chaehyun nodded slightly and Taeyong held him tighter against him. 

It wasn't long before Chaehyun finally calmed down and was wiping his tears away with a tissue which Taeyong had provided for him. He had only ever fully broken down twice in the past in front of Taeyong. He knew he could cry whenever he needed to, but he just didn't and he didn't even know why. Most of the time he felt empty like there was no emotion there. It was almost like the spark of emotion inside of him had completely drained and left him with a dark cloud which fogged up his brain and left his heart hollow. 

"For the last month and a half, I have been missing meals to practice. Every time I say I'm seeing my family, I don't. I go practising instead. I haven't been sleeping much because every time I rest my head down I feel this anxiety rippling through me because I feel like I need to practise and get my moves accurate. I feel like I'm not doing enough so I write music, stay awake doing that. The company, staff, some fans have been giving me negative comments on my moves or the way I look. It's too much, Hyung. Then I have to put on a smile and act like I am not falling apart to keep my siblings, my grandparents and you guys at peace. I guess - I guess I just broke today." 

The explanation broke Taeyong's heart. He had no idea how much his brother was struggling. Chaehyun and the rest of the boys were like Taeyong's siblings and to know that one of them was silently suffering to just to keep him at ease bothered him. He was aware of the comments from the company and a few antis but he wasn't aware of how hard Chaehyun was taking it. He knew the staff were forcing him to practice until he gets it right but he hadn't noticed that it was messing with Chaehyun's brain. None of the boys did, they thought he was fine, maybe a little tired. 

Chaehyun had suffered from anxiety since he was fifteen and he had been on medication for it since then he had seen a therapist and still does on occasion. They had no idea that it was acting up again. Taeyong took Chaehyun's shaky hand in his own and squeezed it. 

"Chae, there are thousands of fans who stick up for you against those comments. There are Youtube videos of ranging fans saying how much they hate the way we get treated, the way you get treated, how Winwin gets treated. They are here for you and they won't let a single person bring you down. Knowing them, they'd probably fight or cause a riot for you. I can tell you that if you said what you just said to me, to one of them then I guarantee they would be mortified because you are by far an amazing dancer and your vocal skills are impeccable. I literally get chills every time I hear you. I promise. You have improved so much, the one move you couldn't complete? You can do it in your sleep now and we've all noticed it. I'm sorry for not noticing how you were feeling and I should've, not just as your leader but as your family. I'm sorry. If you let me if you let all of us, we'd like to help you through this." 

Chaehyun smiled, "I didn't want you to know so please don't blame yourself for this. I'm quite the actor you know, I reckon SM should get me on a drama because I would kill a role." Taeyong grinned, "and yes, I'll let you." 

"Thank you, Chaehyun." 

The pair shared a hug with his head buried into Taeyong's shoulder, Chaehyun began to talk but his voice came out muffled. "Ever mention how sappy I got crying into your shoulder and I swear, I will kill you. I know where you live." 

"Awww, there's the Chaehyun I know and love! Look at you, threatening me and stuff. It's cute, really." 

Laughter echoed around the room as the pair parted. 

Sometimes, things are better left unsaid but other times, it's better to get everything all out in the open.