#50

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Everybody was quiet. It was like all the energy and emotion was drained out of the group of friends as they all slowly walked back in the tour bus. Crystal went to the fridge to get Michael and her a bottle of water, Ashton sat down and held his head in his hands, Calum sat in the corner and rested his body against the side of the couch and Luke sat down on the other side of the couch Calum was on, putting his feet on Calum's lap and taking a deep breath.

Lexi bit her lip and grabbed Ashton's wrists, making him look up. She took his arms off his lap so she could sit down. She sat down and Ashton tightly wrapped his arms around her waist again. They all sat in silence for a little while, feeling emotionally drained.

Suddenly, Calum let out a deep sigh. "Guys, talk about your feelings, come on." Lexi said, staring at Calum who shook his head and bit his lip. He kicked Luke's feet off his lap and got up. "Wait, Cal." Lexi said, getting out of Ashton's grip and rushing after him back out of the tour bus.

"Cal, what's going on." Lexi said. Calum stood with his back facing Lexi. He turned around and his eyes were watery. "Come here." Lexi said, quickly opening her arms so Calum could crash in to her chest. They stood there for a few minutes whilst Calum very softly sobbed. "Calum, please talk, what's going on?" Lexi said, disconnecting the hug and placing her hands on his cheeks, holding his face.

"I don't want to feel this way, I really don't." Calum sighed, wiping his eyes. "But I just feel so tired and sad, I don't know why. Look at my life, I'm living my dream." Calum said, taking lots of deep breaths. "I know you don't want to feel this way." Lexi said before wrapping him in to a hug again. A shiver ran down her spine and Calum noticed.

"Go back inside, I'm just going to smoke a cigarette and come back again." Calum said, dropping his arms from around her waist. "No, Cal, I'm going inside when you want to. I'm not leaving you here alone. I'm staying right by your side where you need me to be." Lexi smiled, grabbing his hands and staring at him.

Calum let out a breath and nodded, hugging her again. "I forgot how overwhelming the touring is." Calum sighed, reaching in his pocket for his cigarette pack. "I left them inside." Calum groaned, letting his head fall back. "I'll go get them," Lexi said, squeezing his hand and walking back in to the tourbus.

Inside, the chatting had slowly started up again. Crystal sat with Michael laying in her lap, holding him and whispering stuff in his ear. Ashton and Luke were softly talking to each other. "I'm just getting something." Lexi said when Ashton was about to pull her on his lap again. She quickly placed a soft kiss on his lips before walking outside with her cigarettes.

She handed Calum one and got one for herself, lighting them both. They stood in silence for a while, inhaling the nicotine and tobacco. After they both finished their cigarette they dropped them on the concrete ground and hit it with the balls of their feet. Calum turned around and stared at Lexi.

"I'm here, Cal, I'm here for you, not just for Ashton, I'm here for you." Lexi said, wrapping him in another hug. "I am so happy that you are here." Calum whispered, holding on to her for a little longer. "We can go sit in the back room and talk for a little, okay?" Lexi said whilst disconnecting the hug. Calum nodded, following her back inside.

Their friends looked up, not sure how to act. "We'll be in the back room if you need us." She said, taking a hand through Ashton's hair and giving him a reassuring wink. Calum silently followed her to the back room and sat down on the couch. Lexi smiled and sat down next to him.

"Now tell me." She said, turning her head to stare at him. "I don't know." He sighed, letting his head fall back. "I just feel sad again." Calum said, biting his lip. "The performing is draining my energy. I'm sleeping bad. Everything combined." He told her. Lexi nodded, it made sense. It took the boys so much energy to stand on the stage and give it 100% almost every night. 

"The only advice I can give about it is try going to bed a little earlier than usual, take your time in the mornings, call up Mali and your mum." Lexi smiled. Calum nodded, talking to his sister always made him feel better. "Other than that, I am here for you, and you know that." Lexi said, wrapping her arms around him, giving him a big hug. They sat in the silence for a while.

"I'm going to head back to Ashton, are you coming?" Lexi said, getting up from his lap and staring at him. "I think I'm just going to get ready for bed." Calum replied, getting up as well. He gave Lexi one last hug before they walked out of the back room again.

Calum went over to his bunk to get his stuff before disappearing in the little bathroom on the bus. Lexi walked back over to the main area and sat down next to Ashton. He smiled at her, grabbing her hand. "Is Calum okay?" Ashton whispered. Lexi nodded, "it takes time, and a lot of love from his closest friends." She smiled, placing her hands on his neck.

"Well you have a lot of love to give," Ashton smiled before leaning in and placing his lips on hers. "Exactly, and you too." She said in between kisses. "Want to share a bunk again?" Ashton asked her, making her chuckle.

"Baby last time we tried that you fell out and bruised your back." Lexi giggled, rubbing his arm. "We can at least try again. Come on." Ashton laughed, getting up and pulling her towards the bunks. Exactly at that time, Calum walked out of the little bathroom.

"Good night." Calum said, showing Ashton a small smile. Ashton wrapped his arms around Calum. "Good night brother," Ashton said, breaking apart. Calum showed him a genuine smile and then climbed in to his bunk.

"Alright, go get ready." Ashton said to Lexi, placing his hand on her bum and pushing her towards the bathroom, making her giggle. They both got in to the bathroom and started getting ready.

Then they walked back in to the bunks hallway and Lexi climbed in first. Then, Ashton climbed in as well and they wrapped their arms around each other. Lexi softly giggled a few more times before they got comfortable.

"Good night Ashton." 

"Good night Lexi."

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