About Time | BTS Series (Jungkook, Jimin)

Log.23: Departure

I looked away as I was overwhelmed by the sudden revelation. Since the night I left him, I had thought that he would possibly try to stop me or look for me. But as I focused on myself and my recovery, I had never heard anything about him after the last time I talked about him with Hoseok, and it only made me think that he had stopped caring. Our fragile life together before that night was already crumbling, that when I never saw him since that night, I had thought that maybe my choice of leaving him marked as our end. That he too had decided that there was nothing left to be saved.

It was that thought alone which helped me focus on myself, to not fill my mind with the thought of him or with hopes of reconciling. And it was that thought alone which brought me here today, because I thought it was finally time to let go, to find closure to this long silent fight we were having.

Was I wrong all this time?

"What did you tell him?" I asked Yoongi while keeping my eyes away.

He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel before answering, "I told him nothing. I never told him where you were all this time, and what you were going through since I promised you that I wouldn't."

"Why didn't you tell me anything about this? About him bothering you?"

I heard a scoff coming from him and I turned to look at him. "I couldn't. You have been doing so well on your treatment. I didn't want him to distract you, okay?"

I only gave him a smile. "Still—I hate knowing that I had dragged you into my problems. And even having him coming to you." And then suddenly the thought about Jungkook blowing out in anger flashed through my mind. "Did it ever get violent?"

"One time," he nodded. He saw my eyes widening in shock and quickly reached out to grab my hand. "It was nothing, I promise. He came to my place at midnight, extremely drunk and fuming with anger. He was getting frustrated for failing to find you and he accused me of hiding you from him. We—uh, got into a big fight, but it was more of him giving me one hard punch to let his anger out and he passed out right before any neighbours came out."

I nibbled my lips to hold my tears from coming out when I suddenly remembered the day he came to accompany me on my treatment, wearing his glasses the whole time and continuously avoiding my gaze. I remembered him lying to me by saying that his eyes were swollen after staying up all night to work. Now I knew what actually happened.

"I'm so sorry."

He only shook his head while holding my hand. "Look, that's the reason why I should come with you. I don't want him to hurt you."

"He won't. I know him. He has hurt me so many times, but he had never laid a finger on me violently. I will run as fast as I could and call for help if I'm wrong."

He looked into my eyes as I tightened my grip on his hand to assure him. I could feel his internal battle as he tightened his jaw. We stayed silent, both of us waiting for the other to give in, until he finally sighed. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, Yoongi. I need to deal with this on my own," I told him, before I convinced him that there was no need for him to wait for me. "I don't know how long this will take." And he had to reluctantly agree to let me go inside without his guard.

I took my time before I made my way to the house, keeping my eyes at Yoongi's car as he drove away before turning on my heels. I stood still right in front of the gate to stare at the house right after. If I had felt how foreign this house was before I stepped out of the car, all I felt now as I looked at it was sadness. I could subtly feel the emptiness that I knew would be waiting for me inside.

Taking the first few steps were hard, since my legs had become wobbly with nerves and wary. Yet I just had to push myself forward so I could carry on with my mission. "You got this," I muttered to myself between a few deep breaths. "You have to do this. Be strong."