wedding buddies ↠ harry styles ✓

NINETY

Carrington Hill

The three hours that followed the phone conversation seemed to be the longest three hours. It didn't entirely feel real. Everything happened so quickly – my plan of staying away from him to recollect my thoughts and make a decision with regards to what to do with my future, now that a baby was involved, kind of flopped.

My mum was called in for a night shift, which I found out when I went downstairs and saw the notice stuck on the fridge with a magnet. That made me feel slightly relieved because that way, Harry and I had the chance to talk alone. I knew she wouldn't have eavesdropped or anything if she wouldn't have gone to work, but it still gave me more of an opportunity to feel more at ease.

I was still downstairs when I heard a car stop right in front of my house and right away, I knew it was him. When mum had night shifts, it meant she only came back in the morning. Sometimes even later. I peeped out the living room window and saw the familiar Mercedes. When he got out of the car, even in the dark, I still caught the black Nike shorts he wore with his signature grey hoodie with its sleeves pushed up on his forearm.

He quickly made his way up the steps and it caused me to disappear from his view just as fast. My heart raced in my chest and the lump in my throat was hard to swallow. Then there was a knock on the door and it made me freeze. Suddenly, I didn't have it in me to open the door yet at the same time, I wished I was already in his arms.

I had a dressing gown on that reached my ankles, tightly wrapped around my body to cover me from the cold. As the front door opened, I realised just how toasty it was in the house, the cool air flooded inside and caused my skin to be covered in goose bumps.

Not even a second later, a pair of strong arms held my body close to something – or more so someone – warm and familiar. A head full of curls tucked neatly in the crook of my neck and scent that caused me to feel like I was at home crawled up my nose. My eyes fluttered closed as I allowed my arms to lift and wrap around his neck, my right hand gently placed on the back of his head as I leaned my own on his.

In that moment, the cold air didn't matter because I was protected and safe. Through it all, my heart calmed down and felt at peace, the man who I adored and needed the most was finally there. It caused my closed eyes to sting, the simple thought of how I could have lost him – perhaps will do in the future if we cannot improve ourselves and what we have – made me want to never let go of him.

"Hey," he pulled back suddenly. The sound of sniffles came from me and it broke the moment we shared. I almost pulled him back to me with a quiet whine, the loss of the contact caused my heart to feel sad and empty. "No need for tears," he said softly as his hands cupped my cheeks and thumbs wiped at them. My skin burned under his touch, or it might have been from all the tears that left it irritated. "C'mon," he said after he closed the front door and turned the lock on it. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the living room where he turned on the small light that stood on its own as opposed to the main one. The way he manoeuvred around the house made it seem like his own.

"Are you... do you..." I stumbled on my words as I sat down and felt his stare on my face. It was intense and deep. He made me feel intimidated and I was scared to say the wrong thing that would set him off.

"Carrie, calm down, darling. It's only me," his eyes seemed to have softened as those words escaped his lips. The same ones I loved. The same ones that said those ugly words through those voicemails. The same ones that had the power to make me feel good. The same ones that had the power to make me feel bad.

"It's just- when you sent those voicemails... they really fucking hurt me, Harry," as I admitted that to him in person, my emotions got the best of me. I couldn't see clear anymore as my heart picked up a rapid beat again and I felt it in my ears. With the nail on my index finger, I picked on my skin around the nail on my thumb to distract myself and I done it so hard, the skin went back more than it should have. The pain made me snap my head downwards and I saw a small part of it bleeding. I folded it in my hand to wipe it off then with the sleeve of my gown, I soaked up my tears.