wedding buddies ↠ harry styles ✓

EIGHTY FOUR

Harry Styles

The time we spent at home refreshed me and put everything in perspective. Work stressed me out so much that I kind of lost control over everything but mainly myself. I was blinded by all the potential success that this new – but definitely on going – project would bring me. There was no reason to lie, I loved that thought because I always thrived to be successful, to do something worthwhile. However, it had gotten to the point where I completely lost who I was.

Being home, thankfully, changed that. And it was all thanks to Carrington.

That woman... god. I loved her so fucking much and she meant the world to me. I really couldn't have described just how she made me feel or how grateful I was for her and it bothered me greatly. Perhaps that was why I drowned myself in work. If I drowned myself in work that meant my mind would be focused on one thing and one thing only meanwhile I'd also make a great amount of money which then could be put towards something to get for her. Obviously, I knew she didn't care much about material things, however I loved treating her to them. She deserved everything.

I tried to put that mindset to rest a little. I had money, I had success, I had a job. I had everything I have ever dreamt of. Well, almost everything. A family of my own was in the process of growing and I was fine with that.

Carrington and I had this baby talk, it was definitely a very sensitive topic between us. It wasn't that we didn't agree on it, we just had different ideas. I respected her opinion on it because I knew she respected mine and I also understood where she came from so we left it at that. We didn't rule it out but we also didn't plan on growing our family in that way.

We decided to do it in another way – through house hunting.

Both of us liked that idea a lot, mainly because we needed the space and so as soon as we were back home – in London – we got to it. We put the wedding on hold, cancelled any and every fitting or cake tasting or venue viewing that we had because there was no point in having them and keeping the employees waiting for something that we wouldn't attend. I had taken back a bit in terms of the number of meetings I attended and scheduled longer – sometimes shorter – ones that actually had a point instead of spreading them out throughout the week where it ended up with me being gone every day. Instead, we – Carrington and I – used that time to actually talk about future stuff as a couple, see where we were at and of course visited places.

It worked great. We now had a routine which was comfortable for both of us and it didn't interfere with work or private life. I, thankfully, had the privilege to not work all the time like I had done throughout these past few months because I could do nothing and still be okay financially. Meanwhile, this had allowed Carrington to focus on her work that she perfectly managed alongside finding a house and spending time with me.

It was always me who didn't have a timetable that was set. Somehow, I had meetings whenever I was called in. Or whenever I went in. My fittings were all over the place sometimes and the callings for shows were just a completely different thing. Compared to other people in the industry, I had it better – which I was aware of – but it was still hard work that I had to put into my projects.

Right now, however, my main goal was to work on myself and also surf on the internet to find houses that I liked. And that was difficult. The house part, I mean. After a rather lengthy discussion with my manager, I was able to find a solution that worked in my favour therefore I was no longer worried about work. Which, by the way, felt fucking amazing.

"Baaaby," I called out loudly as I laid on the couch near the massive windows in the living room. Carrington was somewhere in the penthouse, at least that was what I assumed. It was too quiet downstairs therefore she must have been in the bedroom. A low groan escaped my lips as I came to realise she wouldn't answer because she probably didn't hear me.