at the edge of the cliff || ✔

chapter forty-five: Lana Daniels

at the edge of the cliff

chapter forty-five: Lana Daniels

I stood in front of the mirror, turning from side to side, examining myself in the mirror. "Is this good enough?" I ask Grayson. He came early this morning for moral support before I had to go see my mom. Well not had to, I get to see my mom. And it was a whirlwind of emotions inside me at the moment.

"Shay, you look horrible." He dead panned. Usually I'd slap him in the back of the head, but now is not the time for games. Wait, did I really look horrible.

I smooth my top down. "Really?" I ask. The black off the shoulder top came down right above the top of my jeans. I took the time to straighten my hair this morning so it wasn't in its wild, messy waves. I even put on makeup, just a little bit, but still some.

I see Grayson get off my bed and come stand behind me in the mirror. "You look fine." He sighs staring in my eyes. I nod slowly and take a deep breath as he wraps his arms around me from behind.

We have been very touchy feely lately. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind, at all, but its just a little confusing sometimes. "You look very, very fine actually." He smirks. I roll my eyes but lean back into him.

"I'm so fucking nervous." I breath out closing my eyes. I feel him nod against my shoulder.

"It'll be fine. Everything's gonna be okay." He spoke with such confidence, such sureness that I believed him. How I only wish he could go in with me to keep that assurance. But the lady on the phone the other day said no one could go in at all besides me. I didn't understand why, but then again I didn't ask. When I didn't say anything he sighs loudly and spins me around to face him. "Look at me." He says softly, but sternly. I look up at him through my lashes, butterflies erupting in my stomach.

I couldn't tell if it was from him or I am just that nervous.

"She's your mom." He says. His large hand cups my cheek and I could help but lean into it. "You could look homeless and I promise you she wouldn't notice." He says. I let out a airy laugh realizing he was right. I should be jumping for joy. I should be smiling so hard my cheeks hurt. I should be anxiously waiting by the door until its time to go, and we I get there run in.

But that's not how my mind works.

I'm still thinking about all of the things that could go wrong.

"Shay," I hum in response, looking up at him. "Do you ever stop thinking?" He asks tapping on my head. I shake my head no and he laughs. Grayson then pulls me into his chest, into a hug. A very much needed hug. I wrap my short arms around his neck as he puts his under my arms, holding on to me tightly. "You can do this." He whispers, his breath tickling my ear.

"Thank you." I say back. He just tightens his grip, bringing us closer of that was even possible.

"Sorry to interrupt." A voice says, making me pull away ratger quickly. I spin around to see Ryder satdning in the doorway, arms crossed, leaning against it. "Its time." I felt my heart stop before beating a hundred beats per second. I slowly nod, feeling a wave of calmness when Grayson slips his hand in mine. Ryder waves me out the door, so I pull Grayson along behind me, Ryder following behind him. My legs shook as I walked down the stairs. I see Wen standing by the door, digging her keys out of her purse.

"Ready?" She asks smiling softly. I don't answer and just try and focus on Grayson's thumb grazing lightly over the back of my hand.

"Everything is gonna be fine kid." Ryder speaks up, stepping around Grayson. I let go of his hand as Ryder pulls me in for a hug, kissing the top of my head.