Sanders Sides Oneshots

The Mirror (Some Logicality)

TW: Hints of death, self-harm (only implied), and brief mentions of injuries.

This purposely contains no dialogue.

*

When he was five years old, Patton remembered watching his father hang a mirror on the back of the young child's wooden bedroom door. The mirror was one you could buy at nearly any furniture store for a cheap price. It was simple, a floor-length, and framed with wood painted bright white.

Patton could recall the excitement he felt that day. He didn't know why, but there was something about this mirror that he just loved. Was it a sign that he was getting bigger, older? Perhaps it was a right of passage, in a way, though what for? Patton didn't exactly know, but even still, he appreciated it.

Every morning before school, Patton would check himself in the mirror. He'd hop, spin, make funny faces and giggle at his own silly expressions reflected back at him. Before opening the door and forcing the mirror to face the wall, Patton always made sure to give his reflection a big smile. He never forgot to do so, and this whole routine went on for years, even on Patton's first day of sixth grade.

By then, Patton had noticed changes, not just with himself, but with everything around him too. As he grew up he realized that the older people he knew weren't very happy. They got upset easily, and would snap at him for little things, especially his father.

Soon his routine of smiling at himself in the mirror before school became obsolete. Instead, he would trail his eyes up and down, taking notice of his acne, all of his hair growing longer. He noticed his a lot of his flaws, and his muscles becoming a little more defined, as well as his jeans looking shorter on him from how much he grew. He would need to go shopping soon, but he doubted his father could even get a day off to take him to do so, let alone have enough money to spend.

This new routine stayed for years. At one point, when his father was given a raise at his job, Patton was able to buy better-fitting clothes, and ones he actually liked the look of. He would make sure to adjust his sweaters in the mirror, and check to see that his glasses were smudge free. He would check his hair, making sure it was nearly combed, his cardigan secure around his shoulders. Though, it's not like the cardigan position would matter anyway. It would just get yanked off him from one of the many bullies who dominated his school, and loved to target Patton.

With his father going through the process of finding a new job and finding solace in glass bottles, Patton had no one he truly trusted to turn to when he had a problem. Using the Internet, he had to learn the best ways to do basic life skills.

How to take care of injuries...how to cook easy meals and then some...how to use the washer and dryer...he took all this information in. During the middle of his tenth grade year, when Patton had thrown off his cardigan and his polo shirt, he looked at his chest in the mirror, his face devoid of smiles or even a trace of happiness.

Even Patton himself couldn't ignore how hard he winced when his eyes caught sight of the bruises all over him. Some were brand new, just from that day. Others were fading, finally healing up yet still aching. He had many injuries from his father and his school bullies. Scrapes, scabs, even small red lumps on his head from being hit so hard. They littered his body, and he found it even harder now to fake a smile.

And then...junior year...everything changed.

Suddenly Patton couldn't ignore the pull he felt towards guys, especially one in particular. His longing looks and soft smiles...thoughts about him making their way into even his deepest thoughts...

Patton knew deep down what this was, and what exactly it meant for himself. He was gay...and that's that. No big deal, right?

Unfortunately, hardly no one saw this as 'no big deal.'

From the horrifying and vulgar anonymous notes he pulled out of his locker every day, to the injuries he was gifted nearly every time he walked by, he knew no one here accepted him. Why? Why couldn't people see past his gender?

So he was a male who also like males. So what? Just because he happened to like someone who wasn't a woman didn't mean he deserved to cry himself asleep every night. He shouldn't have to stare at his bruised, bloodied body every evening to check for fresh or reopened wounds just because people couldn't wrap their heads around his sexuality that was different than theirs.

The guy Patton had fallen in love with met with him secretly whenever they had the chance. He filled Patton up with happy things, uplifting promises he swore he'd make come true...until he revealed he was leading him on for some sick prank his football buddies put him up to.

Heartbroken, Patton sat in front of his mirror, watching the carpet change colors with a spilled dark liquid the color of dark red wine, salty tears joining it on the floor. Curling up into a ball, Patton lifted his head slightly, eyes locking with his reflection. The boy who stared back at him had a bright red face, streaked with tear stains. Where was the boy who once smiled at himself in this mirror every single day? What happened to the optimist who had no idea he would be hurt because of who he loved?

That night, the mirror received a crack on its left side from Patton punching it. Now they were both scarred.

*•*•*•*•*

It was Patton's senior year, graduation day to be exact. He stared at himself in the cracked mirror, awkwardly adjusting his cap and gown. He fidgeted with the cap's tassel, letting his eyes roam around his reflection.

This was it. Today he would receive his diploma and graduate from high school with straight A's and the prospect of going to college on a music scholarship under his belt.

He knew there would be no one there from his family smiling for him and videoing the whole ordeal, as he had buried his lowlife father last year, joining Patton's mother in the ground as a homophobic drunk who saw no problem hurting his own son for who he loved.

Feeling an arm wrap around his shoulders, Patton looked up at Logan who gave him a soft, small smile. And for the first time ever, there were two reflections in that mirror. A broken boy and another who loved him, who made him feel whole again. With Logan by his side and giving him a loving look that left his face a soft pink, Patton slowly looked back to the mirror. Both the mirror and Patton were both broken, beaten up a bit but still going nonetheless. And without even a small moment of hesitation, Patton smiled slightly at the cracked mirror.

*•*•*•*•*

Woooooo I hope I made my English teacher proud with that symbolism/callback at the end. Also, no dialogue? That was interesting, but easier than I thought it would be. You'd be surprised as to how many details you can add when there is no dialogue in a piece.

I actually really liked this and I hope y'all did too.