Put flowers on the desk. (Soonhoon)

Day 105.

Hands grabbed and pushed, the moment the sound of the line went constant.

The moment the sound touched their ears, so many people rushed into the room. They pulled and pushed at jihoon- who was just standing there, staring at the monitor and soonyoung.

He was just staring.

Two nurses were the ones who got ahold of him and escorted him out, as his blurry vision showed the room door slamming once he was in the hall, the doctors crowding the single person on the bed who wasn't breathing.

He fell over his foot as the ladies pushed him out backwards- making him fall down and fall to sit on the floor- his eyes couldn't waver.

He heard all the yelling, all the commands the man was giving out to the others and heard the sudden, "clear!"s They kept repeating in order to try and get his heart moving.

He saw the silhouette of everyone in the room through the window of the door, watching intensely in a trance he couldn't bare out of as he was left in all the panic around him.

He stayed there, back against the wall sunken to the floor, traces of sun breaking through a window which reached his hand. however he felt no warmth.

he couldn't feel anything at all.

"soonyoung.."

His voice broke the tension growing in his stomach and mind. it was the only thing which gave a sense of reality.

however it was slow at first and low- quiet and shaky yet loud to his own ears.

then it settled it.

the delayed response everyone secretly expected- the one that took a few minutes too late in order for it crawl at the back of the mind and messed it up to even consider what was happening.

"soonyoung-" his voice broke his throat, as he bitterly moved back further, staring and his mind was stirring.

The feeling came and it drowned jihoon all the way to the bottom of it, filling his lungs as his eyes watered from reaction, feeling heavy as the tears fell from his eyes- and all he felt was panic.

suddenly something finally made jihoon finally get the ability to function back to his feet, pulling himself up as his voice wavered from fear.

"S-Soonyoung..!" He yelled, running up to the locked door and slamming his fists against the wood. "Wait- no!" He started to scream once someone pulled him away, but he kicked.

He swung his feet against the body behind him, making the adult let go and jihoon fall- but quickly forced himself to get up and went on his toes whilst sobbing, praying he could see what was going on as he continued to hit the door.

The one thing he did hear were the doctors falling silent and only mere orders were thrown around until someone finally grabbed jihoon.

They forced him into a enclosed waiting room, one they didn't lock only because that was barely legal- to treat him like a wild animal even though that's what he secretly reminded all of them of. A grieving animal.

They told him slowly to breathe and calm down, but as soon as jihoon entered the small empty room, he just weeped and wailed, covering his eyes and face while the doctors dismissed themselves, rays of pity flowing out of them and sinking into jihoon's skin.

His sobbing filled the room, bouncing off the off white walls back into his ears as his knees grew sore and raw from the horrible ragged carpet in the room.

His heart was beating yet it didn't feel like anything was there. The only image drawn in his head was soonyoung's face just as he stopped moving- stopped opening his eyes to blink and how he stopped breathing. When his heart stopped.

His warmth that left in that moment, making jihoon wish he never touched it to begin with.

It felt like all the progress being made just vanished from jihoon's fingers.

The waves of anxiety and worry ripped apart his skin and tormented him as he felt a weight fall on his shoulders.

A weight he had only experienced when he was alone. With no one.

Few seconds passed before one of the nurses sat in with him and shut the door behind her, folding her hands within each other as she swallowed hard from seeing jihoon in wreckage.

"I'm sorry," she said. "We haven't been able to get his heart beat back.. currently we're trying. But he isn't conscious anymore and we're concerned he's passed.."

The lady even avoided looking at jihoon- and all she could hear was sobs above sobs, only starting up once again after she spoke and he buried himself deep in his loath and grief.

He couldn't think.

The nurse started to get emotional as she backed away and closed the door, leaving him alone once more.

The weight broke his shoulders.

It felt like he was under water and the waves kept crashing into him- harming him with rocks and stones as his throat began growing raw from the weeping and wailing and the yelling of soonyoung's name.

He wished he gave up. He wished he wasn't so blind and looked past everything- and most of all

He wished this never happened. He wished he knew and could've stopped this.

He can't be gone

He can't be gone

He can't be gone

It's not real

His hands are still warm

His eyes are still open

His heart is still beating

His voice is calling his name

His arms are hugging him

This isn't real

He died.. -died.

Jihoon felt like his body was going against him and told him to stop crying- running all his tears dry. he had nothing else to cry.

His shaky voice and shivering arms calmed down- but the pain got worse.

His crying was wavy as he held onto his arms- as if he were freezing.

How could the world be so cruel? Why are we out here just to die or be taken away?

Once people leave they they won't be able to smile anymore. Or make the jokes that are the most memorable.

Soonyoung wouldn't be able to laugh, or move even his fingers. He won't be able to think anymore, or do the small things jihoon would notice and look at.

And love.

Soonyoung won't be able to talk, blink, or hug ever again. There will be no more life. He'd never be able to breathe again.

This is what death does.

And it came so soon.