Put flowers on the desk. (Soonhoon)

Day 56.

His mom's birthday was coming up, he told me.

"She'd be thirty eight tomorrow." He explained to me, while playing with my fingers.

I could tell that he was going through some things from the uncomfortable expression on his face.

"..do you miss her?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yes." He replied, letting out a breath. "But I can't help but feel she wanted to go to heaven."

I looked at him and he shifted. "She deserves to be an angel and be happy so that makes me feel better." He explained to me.

I nodded in understanding.

"Well.. what did she have? Can you tell me about her?"

"She had a tumor in her brain. I come from a family where our health isn't good. My dad carried the heart diseases." He replied.

"My mom had loong brown hair and she'd make me laugh a lot. She knew how to comfort me and I was so happy whenever she was around." He pulled a face of remembering.

"Once we found out, me and my dad were devastated. But he was more effected by it. He'd tell me it was okay nonetheless. We visited her everyday. This same hospital."

I didn't expect it to be here. That was something else that surprised me..

"She passed away two years ago. I found out when I was at home. I was with my dad and he got a call from the hospital."

I made a face to show my concentration and interest. I felt trapped in his explaining.

"My dad left me home alone then came back two days later. He never told me, I found out myself when my aunt came to my home to watch me."

"So you were left home alone for that time?"

He let out a breath. "Yeah but when my dad came back he was a mess. He couldn't look at me because I look like her and he'd cry more."

I saw him swallow harshly. I spoke again. "When did he.. you know.."

"Two weeks later, he left my house with a bag and said to me, 'Soonyoungie be a good boy and stay right here. I'll be right back' and I did. I waited at the door and he never came back."

He paused and I put my hand on his arm.

"I found out that day he overdosed in the bathroom of a convenience store. That was the day I had a heart attack for the first time and was submitted into the hospital all alone."

He explained in his own way and I felt my heart turn. I don't like seeing him sad.

"I'm sorry.." I mutter out and he half smiled.

"Actually I was first put into a different hospital in the beginning but I almost, like, died there." He let out a breath and laughed slightly.

I didn't really know what to say, but he didn't need me to say anything because he started talking again.

"I want to go to her grave.. But I don't think I can."

"Yes you can." I reply. "It's your mother you're talking about."

"They won't let me after what happened last time we left." He looked at me. "And I don't wanna leave you alone."

"Soonyoung you better go." I started. "I won't talk to you if you give this chance up."

He looked uncertain. "But.. what if something happens to you when I'm not here?"

"It's a day Soonyoung, and plus you've gone longer without me." I smiled. "I'll be fine."

"Still, they won't let me."

I pulled a face. "I'll help with that."

He looked at me. "I wish I can say thank you but I'm mortified by your tone."