Put flowers on the desk. (Soonhoon)

Day 57.

I spoke to the people who are watching Soonyoung and his health.

"Let him go, just for today."

They all looked at each other, uncertain.

I reasoned with them.

"He misses his mother. Especially today. Let him go by himself and I'll stop pressing my emergency button." I raised a finger. "Plus he's responsible."

They exchanged looks again and then finally, they nodded.

I am so cool.

~~~

"I'm so happy Jihoonie! They told me I can go!" He came running into my room.

"I'm leaving in a few minuets so I can buy flowers, they don't have her favorite here."

His blonde hair was messy from running and he wore a blush colored hoodie.

His smile was so bright and happy.

I couldn't help but feel a smile rise to my lips too, just from looking at him.

"Be safe and stay warm, don't be reckless or talk to strangers, you hear?" I pointed at him and he ran up to me, and hugged me.

"Thank you so much."

"Aish don't ignore what I'm saying." I scold and he laughed.

"Okay I'll be safe. I'll be back later and I'll tell you how it went." He kissed me. "You also be safe too."

I nodded and giggled.

I love this boy with all my heart, he's perfect.

He gave me another kiss before leaving, waving happily.

This was the first time he went to visit her in years he told me.

Sometimes even in moments like these, I tend to worry.

Every time I find out something new about Soonyoung I find that it always makes me worry.

Like when I woke up,

He never talks about that.

What his life was like a year ago, when he was all alone.

He never talks about it.

I can't help but wonder what he went through.

I can't imagine his feelings.

And that scares me, I don't want to lose him.

I don't think I can.

When he left today I also worried.

I was worried if he was staying warm, if he knew where to go, if he remembered to eat something.

In my eyes I'm just scared of him getting hurt more than anything.

But I waited until he came back.

It was late and I remember getting even more worried to the point my stomach was twisting.

But I was wrong.

Because he came back, even though almost everyone was sleeping at the time.

He knocked on the door and I smiled when I saw him.

He took off a coat and tossed it to the side and immediately laid down in the space next to me, resting his head on my chest.

"Soo how was it?" I asked and ran my fingers through his hair.

"I'm tired.." He grumbled tiredly.

"You must be. You were out all day." I replied, I was worried.

"It was good. I cried, but I told her about you." He told me. "Afterwards I went to eat and then I went back."

"Did it feel good to visit?" I asked and he got silent.

"I can't tell." He said.

"I know I should, but it only made reality sink in and me realize she's really gone.." His voice got softer.

"Ah going was supposed to be a good thing, don't be upset." I frown and kiss the top of his head.

He let out a sigh and nuzzled me.

"Go to sleep, in the morning you can tell me more about it, okay?"

He nodded slightly and hugged me gently. "Okay, good night.." he whispered and I kissed his head again.

He fell asleep almost instantly and seemed to be over heating from before.

But soon his heart beat which I could feel, relaxed.

His breathing made me calm.