Put flowers on the desk. (Soonhoon)

Day 81.

A week has passed now, and every single day was fun.

It was nice and we almost always went out.

Even when we didn't, staying inside and watching movies was so fun.

But today I feel different.

I feel sad, and I don't know why because nothing bad has happened to me. I just feel tired.

I've been taking the pills I needed to take once I left, but ever since I started taking them each day I started to feel deflated.

I didn't like it.

And I want to tell Soonyoung but he's just so happy because he thinks I'm getting better.

I am, but I'm also feeling worse emotionally.

I feel like I'm trapped somewhere and I don't get it.

I don't understand nor know how to comply with my emotions.

I've started having nightmares, all about losing Soonyoung.

I don't know what to do.

I see him and I feel like crying.

I'm worried sick.

I don't want to call my parents anymore, I don't even wanna talk to them.

I don't want to see or hear anyone other than Soonyoung, but he'll get tired of me.. I'm afraid he will and I'm trying my best to keep my smile up.

But there's this tiredness that lurks behind my eyes and my body is losing motivation.

I know I'm going to have to talk to him about this..

But he's leaving soon.

He told me that he has to leave for two days with his Aunt because he wants to help her with her job in hopes make her life a little easier.

I really don't want him to go tomorrow.