Put flowers on the desk. (Soonhoon)

Day 50.

I realized that I could actually feel the stitches on me. And fuck, they hurt so much.

I didn't want anyone knowing I was awake other than Soonyoung, but soon someone came to check on me and saw I was awake.

They talked to me but I didn't care. They were telling me how they hadn't found anything new, and that was good at least.

But the bad news is, they finally started thinking that I wouldn't get better. They might have to change my treatment because apparently it hasn't been working.

I didn't really care, mostly because I was too distracted.

Soonyoung was asleep again.

He'd come to my room, hold my hand and fall asleep, head on my blanket.

He looked tired and sick too, I hope he was taking care of himself when I was gone.

But then again, I know he wasn't.

I still see him seem as if he'd pass out every time he comes into my room.

And what I caught him trying to do when I woke up.. He acts like it never happened.

But I'd never forget that.. In fact it makes me worry more.

But I don't think worrying will change anything. I know it won't.

But how else am I supposed to feel?

He's still asleep right now.

When I looked down at him, his hair was messy, jeez he really doesn't take care of himself.

I tried to fix it, by running my fingers through his hair.

It looked better after a while. It was like petting a cat.