Put flowers on the desk. (Soonhoon)

Day 20.

I think I'm dying.

Instead of avoiding the possibility I've finally decided to accept it.

It's not like it matters anyway people die it's hard.

But this morning I couldn't open my eyes. I was too weak, and Soonyoung called the doctors this time.

I was shaking horribly when they found me curled on my side.

They told me I had been paralyzed with pain.

I don't even remember how bad it was.

They said they think they've discovered what I have from the results of of the tests.

But I told them not to tell me until they're 100% sure.

I don't want to get even more anxious or nervous.

Everyone left as soon as they took care of me enough so that I could move.