Patience

Chapter 11

Kate pov
Frustrated, I threw my book on the bed, groaning I pushed my hands in my face. It was five days since I had seen Harry and I'd heard nothing more from him than a text saying he was on call and extremely busy.
The last time I saw him we'd spent an afternoon at the zoo. I had the best time in ages. After I kissed him, I was scared it would be awkward but it wasn't at all. He was sweet and caring like always. Before he went home there was even a minute I thought he would kiss me back but he didn't. I imagined thousands of times how it would feel to kiss him, to feel him all over me but it's never going to happen.

I replayed our last afternoon over and over again in my head. Maybe I did or said something wrong but I just can't see it and with him not answering I can't ask.
Maybe I should just go to the hospital and wait for him. I feel kinda okay today so why not try.

I get out of my bed and walk to my closet. I take out a red summer dress with yellow flowers before I walk to the bathroom, strip my clothes off and put the dress on. I apply some mascara and put my hair into a high ponytail. I searched the house for the black sandals I love so much. When I found them I put them on before I take my phone, keys, handbag and I leave the house.
Of course I forgot to call a cab. I call them and there will be a taxi here in ten minutes. I wait for the cab on the bench in front of my apartment. When it pulls up at the kerb I get in. The drive is short and I can feel some nerves coming up. What if he doesn't want to see me?

I walk into Harry's secretary's office, "Hello Katia, how are you?" I say when she looks up from her desk.
"Miss Jones, I'm good thank you. How are you?"
"I'm okay, thank you and you can say Kate. I don't have an appointment and Harry doesn't know I' coming but is there a chance I can talk to him for a moment."
"He is doing paperwork in his office but I think you can disturb him," she says and I want to walk away.
"I hope you can cheer him up. He has been in an awful mood the last couple of days."
"Maybe because he is on call and is so busy?" I wonder out loud.
"He isn't on call and with the summer season it is fairly calm," I frown but give Katia a nice smile before I walk into the hallway.

What is going on? Why did he lie and why is he in such a bad mood?
I knocked the door of Harry's office and hear him mumble I could come in. I took a deep breath and opened the door and stepped inside. Harry didn't look up immediately, he was writing something down.
"You are ignoring my existence so I thought, let's remind him who I am," I was polite and stern at the same time.
"Kate," Harry breathed, his face was shocked. "Are you okay?" he asked concerned.
"Physically I'm okay, emotionally I'm bruised because one of my closest friends is acting like a dick".

Harry looked at me with his big green orbs. He opened his mouth but immediately closed it again.
"Harry," I said and I walked around his desk. He turned his chair and looked at me, there was something in his eyes like he was hurting. I sat down on his lap and laid my head on his shoulder,

"Katia said you've been in a bad mood for days. Please talk to me, you are a wonderful person and you are a wonderful friend to me. Please talk to me, let me be a wonderful friend to you to, please Harry. It's been 5 days since I have seen you and I miss you." Harry just looked at me but said nothing.

"Or don't you want to see me anymore? Didn't you feel the connection I feel," tears were burning in the back of my eyes.
Harry said nothing. I looked up to him to see his eyes closed and my heart sank. He didn't want me here, I looked at my hands and got up,
"I better go," I whispered and walked out. When I walked through the big hallways of the hospital I let my tears flow. How stupid was I believing he was my friend, feeling more for him then just friendship, feeling a connection, thinking he would kiss me last week. I am an idiot for thinking someone would want me, a disabled, ugly, boring person. I hate myself, I hate the person who I have become.

A.N.: I'm sorry don't hate me!
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All the love,
K. x