Chapter 44

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Kate pov

In the past, after every surgery, I was alone. Of course my family and Karla visited but after a little while they were gone. I was used to being alone, I was home alone too, but it's not the same as when you're in a hospital. This time it was different, Harry was here. He sat next to me when I woke up after the surgery. The days after that, he came to the hospital right after breakfast and stayed until late at night. I told him so many times to go explore, do some sightseeing, but he didn't want to. He said his place was right there, next to me.

The pain from the surgery is manageable, I have been through worse. The catheter in my belly only gives an odd feeling because sometimes when I move it feels like the needle is moving too. I also have a stitched wound on my back, but I don't feel it. The skin around it bothers me more because it has become irritated by the glue of the band aids.
Everyday, both wounds need to be disinfected and redressed. Whilst I was in the hospital the nurses would do it, but once I was in the hotel or at home, Harry would take over.

"How is my favourite patient today," Maarten asked when he burst into the room on the first day after the surgery. I put down the magazine I was reading and smiled at my doctor.
"I'm okay, just really tired. I had a really bad night." I put the head of the electric hospital bed a little up so I was better seated for a conversation. Maarten took a seat in the chair across from my bed.
"The nurses told me that you had a bad night. Having surgery isn't easy on a body, especially a chronically ill body. I assume you don't feel anything from the device yet?" Maarten lifted the little box with my bag, containing my medicine and the pain device from the ground and started to push some buttons.
"No, I feel nothing. Should I have already felt something or is it too soon," I wondered out loud.
"It depends, every body is different. You took a daily high dose of oxycodone before the surgery anyway, so your body probably will need longer to adjust than a person who takes the lowest dose. I'll increase the dosage and we'll see what happens." I nod and showed my crossed fingers to my doctor and then Harry burst into the room. After saying hi and kissing my cheek, Harry immediately starts to tell Maarten about a case he's reading about. These boys eat, live and breath their profession. I admire them but, I wouldn't want to be a doctor.

The second day goes by the same way and I still don't feel anything from the medicine, so the dosage gets increased again.

On the third day Maarten says I can go back to the hotel but he wants me to hang around and not to travel for a couple of days. The wound looks and feels fine and isn't causing me any additional pain at all.Maarten explained to Harry how to increase the morphine. He also explained the doses and when to stop so he can take care of the device and the settings.

It felt good to be back at the hotel. It wasn't home, but Harry was there and I had a comfortable bed, that's enough at the moment. I feel so tired, I just want to sleep and I don't care about anything else.
"Beautiful, wake up please. It's dinner tim,." Harry sang softly in my ear. I love to eat, but it's so hard to open my eyes. I lay there for a little while but eventually my love for food wins over the urge to sleep and I open my eyes.
"There's my beautiful girl," Harry whispered cheerfully. This man was the biggest goof but, I wouldn't want to change a thing. We ate dinner in the sitting area of our suite, a delicious pasta with tomatoes and basil.
"Are you nervous? Why are you wiggling around in your chair all the time," Harry asks after he notices that I can't sit still.

"My back is just bothering me," I say but, it isn't really my back. The bones in my bum are really hurting when I sit. It's a constant nagging pain and it's making me want to cry. I've never felt something like this before, but I presume it's from my back.

After dinner, Harry helps me wash myself. The worst thing about this trial is not being able to shower. The wires, wounds or the device can't get wet so I have to wash myself at the sink. I am clean, I washed myself, but I still feel dirty and I realise how spoilt we are, showering every day. Feeling the hot water running down my skin would be heavenly at the moment.
Also, as a young woman, needing help to wash yourself can be very humiliating. Harry tried to make it fun and tried to make me stop thinking but, it didn't work.

The next day, I wake up with a massive headache and there's nothing much I can do other than lay in bed with my eyes closed. Harry knows I have a headache but I don't tell him how bad it is. He says it's from the needle they put in my spine. According to him, it's normal after the surgery to leak a little brain fluid and the tension from the brain fluid on the spine can cause a headache.

This is the sixth day after the surgery and I feel like shit. My head is pounding and I can barely open my eyes. My neck is stiff from the stupid pillows. I know I should tell Harry about the neck pain but, I don't because he would make it out to be a bigger than it is.
Harry's packing because we're going home today and I'm really looking forward to being home.
"Beautiful, are you sure you feel up to travelling? We can cancel and stay another couple of days if you don't feel okay. I know your back is bad and its only going to get worse." I know he's trying to make sure that I'm okay but, I feel anger bubbling up inside my belly. I know I shouldn't do it, but I snap.

"Let's just go home Harry," I sneer. I immediately see the hurt in his eyes and regret it but, I say nothing having my eyes open, looking around the room and moving my neck just a little bit. It hurts too much and I can't deal with Harry's or my own feelings right now so, he just has to suck it up.
I sleep, but it's different, it doesn't feel like sleeping. It feels like my mind and body go numb sometimes.

"Kate, can you get ready please? We need to leave soon." I hear Harry ask but he sounds so far away. I sit up straight, it feels like there is a brick pressing on my head and neck. I think for a moment about what I need to do, check if Harry has got everything, go to the bathroom, take my pills, but I just want to lay down for 5 more minutes.
"Come on Kate, you can do this," I mentally cheer to myself. I try to stand up straight but the room spins and I fall back on the bed.
Harry's voice comes rushing towards me,
"What's wrong baby?" I see a face in front of me, I know it's Harry because I recognize his voice. I don't answer but instead, I try to get up again and this time I manage to stand. Harry is talking, but I don't hear what he says. I can only do one thing at a time and I have to get ready. I walk to the bathroom but, suddenly everything goes black.

A. N. : Two days late but here is the next chapter.
What do you think is going on with Kate?
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Have a good day!
All the Love,
K. x

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