In the Office (ManxTransWoman)

Chapter 26

Olivia's pov:

Thierry was true to his word. I woke up this morning to all my luggage neatly packed and carefully transported to my front door. I took them to my room but have yet to unpack them. My body was fatigue from last night and my throat felt terribly sore. I didn't look much better, my eyes swollen and red and my hair tousled wildly. I couldn't convince myself to shower or much less change out of my pjs. I've stayed in bed all day.

I knew that there was a large chance that Thierry would react negatively to my secret. However, a small part of me had hoped he wouldn't care and we'd just smoothly move on. I can't be angry or disappointed though. That's not fair to him. He has been through a lot and his emotions were already on thin ice.

He almost bled out and had to be hospitalized for a month. He just reconnected with his family after a little over two decades, meeting his twenty four year old sister for the first time. Thierry finally told all of us how he was a victim of rape and abuse for four years. And the meeting did not end well and he has had no contact with them since. He's struggling mentally, physically, and emotionally. He was definitely not expecting the one person he had let in through this whole process to have been hiding something from him for months now. I can only imagine how confused and hurt he is in this fragile and vulnerable state.

Despite this, I still want to see him. I want to call him and see how he is doing. I shouldn't have let it gone this far. I had to tell him but I can see how this was the worst time to tell him. I wish I told him sooner. I can only hope now that he can forgive me and we can possibly continue forward. I know that this has set us back and we'll have to have a serious heart to heart. If he if even wants to continue that is.

That's what hurts the most. I can't make him attracted to me. He may not want to date someone who is trans. People are attracted to who they are attracted to. It won't make him transphobic if he can't see himself with me. I just don't know how he feels. He didn't say anything specifically about me being a trans woman. He was upset that I lied. And then I goofed and admitted that I was in love with him. That was not how I wanted to confess it. I've known for a while that I was in love but he was right when he said that I shouldn't have said it then.

All I can do is wait and give him some space. And I'm not too worried about his recovery as I know Danny will more than step up to the plate. Speaking of which, I wonder if he knows. Has Thierry said anything? I definitely need to talk to my friend soon and I need Madison and Totiyuna to be there for me. They both know that I hadn't told Thierry I was transsexual. They were supportive but I can tell they weren't too happy, scared from helping with past bad experiences. They were the ones who finally help me be confident in myself and encouraged me to be more open and honest with people. And now all that went to shit with Thierry.

I groaned and rolled over, shoving my face in my pillow. I haven't even removed my makeup or brushed my teeth so I'm sure I look pleasant. I just hope my probably messy makeup won't mess up my pillow. Suddenly my phone rings and I quickly sat up to grab it. My heart dropped when I saw Danny's name on the screen. I took a deep breath before swiping to answer the call, not knowing what to expect.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Olivia. We obviously need to talk. Can I come over?"

"Y-Yes, just give me an hour, please."

"Okay, I'll see you soon."

As soon as the call ended, I flopped back down. I let out a groan of frustration and stared at the ceiling. Danny didn't sound mad or confused, leaving me to believe he knows exactly what went down. I just hope he's not disappointed or upset with me as well. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I eventually dragged myself out of bed though and forced myself to get ready.