Hidden Truth//Kylux

Protect//21

The farther Slip goes away, the more air leaves my lungs. The room goes silent and a large noise, sounding like a loud ship, comes into my ears. It's muffled, but slowly gets more clear. As it gets more clear I gasp from not being able to breathe, and fall to the floor. Everything feels strange, as chills run up and down my entire body. I always feel really tired after Slip leaves, but this is the worst it has ever been. I fight to keep my eyes open because there is a massive force pulling them closed. Was it Slip? Is this why I always pass out? Is this the reason my meditation takes all my energy? What is he?

I give up and close my eyes. For some reason, I randomly start thinking of Poe. It's almost been five years since I have seen his face. I can still see every detail in my head. He probably looks different now. I look different now, I almost look nothing like I did when I left. The feeling of missing him is becoming too hard to ignore. I miss him still, and I still love him. I wonder if he thinks about me. I wonder if he still loves me like I do him. I wonder if he even cares or feels bad. What does everyone think of me? I have not felt the presence of any of the other students. That means they did as I said, and haven't used the force. Hopefully they keep it that way. I open my eyes a little bit and realize where I am still. I'm so tired and I forgot I fell down. The scene of my mask tilted on its side and my arms outstretched before me becomes dark. The cold ground on the side of my face is a comfort, a pillow.

I get out of the ruble and dust off my clothes.

"Luke?" I grab a stone and move it over. "Luke?" I move some more stone. Why did I do that? I could have actually killed him.

I stop moving around the rocks when I feel a comforting feeling wash over my panicked mind. Luke is okay. He's not hurt. His voice echos softly in my head.

"Finish this Ben. Please remember everything I have taught you. May the force be with you."

"May the force be with you." I say back.

I walk up the hill to Luke's hut. A few weeks ago, after making the red saber, I showed Luke. He hid the saber, along with the dark robes Snoke gave me in his hut. As I continue to trek up the hill, it gets harder and harder to rid my stomach the horrible feeling it sends to my brain. This is real. I am actually doing this. All of the training. I have been waiting for this moment for so long and now it's actually here.

I open the door and my heart begs me to stop. Stop all of this. Stop this mission and just tell Luke I can't do this. If I do that, Snoke will surly kill everyone and then find the resistance with out issue. He will wipe them out and it will be all my fault. All because I was too afraid. I can't let that happen. I can feel Luke's presence that was in the hut a few minutes ago. A few minutes before I woke up to his eyes glowing underneath the green of his saber. I get on my knees to reach under his bed and my heart begs me again to stop. It almost hurts my chest from how bad my conscious is telling me to stop this.

I push it away and reach under Luke's bed. My finger runs over the cold metal of the saber and I bite the sides of my mouth for a distraction. I take out the saber and set it to the side of me. I reach under more and drag out the clothing. I put my hands to my face and drag them every where. I want to know the feeling of my skin before I put the gloves on. After I put the gloves on, I'm Kylo Ren. I want to feel what it's like to be Ben one last time before everything changes. I stand and look into a reflective surface to see my face one last time.

"Come back as Ben." I say to my reflection. "You promised. Don't forget who you are."

I kneel back down and begin to undress. After taking off my last article of clothing, I fold it into a nice pile and set it on Luke's bed. I take the other dark robes and start dressing. After putting on the top I feel nervous again.