Help//3

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I enter my personal training room and head straight for the middle of the floor. The room is big and black with a gray floor. It is dimly lit and there is practice blasters and other weapons attached to the walls. I take out my new light saber and set it to the side. I miss my blue light saber. The one I had now was honestly frightening. The Kyber crystal was cracked so the final result made the light saber crack and ripple more then normal. The sound wasn't like any other light saber I have heard. The buzzing was louder and every crack made your enemy jump. I take off my mask and set it next to my light saber.

I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. I concentrate on the force. I let it flow completely through me and trust in its ways. After a minute I feel as if I am one with it.

"I'll do it." I look down and immediately regret saying it. There's no turning back now.

"Perfect." Luke smiles and puts his hand on my shoulder, caressing it. "You're making the right choice Ben. This will help the resistance in so many ways."

"Luke, how are we going to do this anyway?" Usually the rest of the students referred to my uncle as Master Skywalker. I called him Luke behind closed doors and he didn't mind. I hate my uncle sometimes but he is the only one I can ever talk to anymore since I left behind the horrible memory of Poe. So in a way. Luke is my best friend.

"It's going to take a lot of convincing. You're going to have to start making contact with Snoke through the force and making him think you want to turn to the dark side."

"Snoke!" I push Luke's hand off my shoulder. I can't fool Snoke. But then again, was I expecting any less? Luke is asking me to be a spy to the First Order. I guess this way made sense.

"Are you still willing to do this?" Luke gives me a sympathetic look

Am I? I am doing this on a main base of having a distraction. A distraction from my fathers apparent hate for me. The horrible memory of Poe's fake affection. "Yes... I am. What else do I have to do?"

"Well you're still a padawan so it's not going to start right away. It's going to take a lot more training and planning."

"When do I start making contact with Snoke?" I shutter at the name. He was very much feared among me and the other Jedi that Luke is training.

"I'll tell you. Now Ben listen." Luke puts his hand on my leg and forces me to look at him. "We need to make this as believable as possible. You need to make people think that you appreciate the ways of Vader before he turned. The only people that know about this are you and me. I even want your Jedi peers to think you're turning for real."

"But when? When does this all start?" There was so much to think about and Luke hasn't even gone into the full extent of the subject.

"Don't worry about that now Ben. Like I said, you're going to need more training, don't get ahead of yourself."

"I'm not getting ahead of myself Luke. This is just a lot to think about and I'm scared."

"Don't be. It's a long ways away." Luke puts his hand on mine. "I can sense that you're still thinking about it Ben. You need to let go."

"What do you mean? Can we just talk about this mission?"

"Ben I can sense that the thing that happened with your father is bothering you."

I don't want to talk about my life before coming here with Luke. It's behind me. "Luke, trust me I can keep it under control."

"Burying it won't keep it under control."

"What do you know about it Luke?" I push him away again and fold my arms.

"Your father didn't send you to me because of Poe."

"Yes he did. You weren't there." I grit my teeth so I won't cry in front of Luke like I did my father. "He doesn't accept me."

I look at Luke and expect him to argue with me, but he hugs me tightly. I hug him back and sniff in. The tears start to fall and I feel ashamed. It has been a while since I have cried. "Ben. You're only seventeen ok? That was a year ago, okay? I know how much you care about Poe but you need to let go."

"Luke I try not to care and I shouldn't. It's not like he loves me back." My crying gets worse and Luke tells me to shh as he brushes my hair with his fingers.

"Ben, try not to think about it. It was a year ago after all." Luke pushes me away but keep his hands on the sides of my arms. "Alright?" I can feel his stare but I don't want to look at him with my pathetic cry face, so I look down at my hands.

"Okay."

I open my eyes and gasp. I lean back and let my back roughly hit the floor. I close my eyes and try not to breath so hard. I wipe away the sweat that has collected on my forehead. I want so badly to make contact with Luke. I need his guidance. I feel so lost and helpless. I don't know if I can do this on my own anymore. It's so hard to hide from Snoke and everyone else here.

I get up and walk out of the room. I know that they keep Vader's mask here and I head straight for that room. I open the door and fall down on my knees in front of his old deformed mask.

"Please grandfather, help me. I need guidance." I shut my eyes tight and close my mouth because of how loud and quick I am breathing. "Anakin please. I can't do this alone." I put my forehead to the stand that his old mask lies on and I squeeze tight to the sides. "Please."

I sit there in silence for a few minutes before I hear the door to the room open.

"Ren, What are you doing?"

I get up and quickly and face the concerned red head in front of me. "General." I nod at him and feel embarrassed. I didn't plan on him walking in and seeing me laying down in front of Vader's mask. He probably had a hundred questions, but he's too weirded out to ask.

"I went to get you and inform you of my plan out line. When I went to the training room I found your mask and light saber, but you weren't there. I didn't plan on finding you here but I guess that makes sense."

I nod at him, I'm just relieved he didn't say anything about my weird behavior.

"Well since I found you, lets go and get your belongings and I will explain the outline to you."

"Ok." I step in the doorway that Hux was in and stare at him for a few seconds. He looks up at me confused but doesn't say anything. The doorway isn't very big so we are rather close. Looking at him with my own eyes is so much better then the mask. It did have benefits but observing the pale beauty of this man was worth him noticing that I am staring.

He clears his throat and looks away from me. "Shall we?" He starts to walk away and I catch up and continue to look at him while I can, before the mask can alter his green eyes again.








That pic above is my fave of all time. I really liked the last chapter and I really like this one too❤️🤗🤓 hope all readers are liking it as well. -vote if you liked it.'yoitsme108

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