Hidden Truth//Kylux

Confession//14

I sit in this discussion room, that's really a random control room and stare at screens for a while without thought. There is sometimes a random beep that goes of at least every thirty minutes. It's calm and satisfying. The sound of the machines almost puts me to sleep. I have never really listened to these computers, I like them. I like things that are constant and calm. Because it's something I can't achieve. I can't achieve being constant, my life is always changing faster then I can catch up with. I always thought Poe would be my constant, I thought wrong. I can only hope Sunset will be my constant. Eventually though, I must go back home.

What's at home for me though? My dad? I scoff. Poe? I almost roll my eyes right out of my head. Yeah I may be faking a Sith identity to one of the most powerful beings in the Galaxy, but sometimes that seems better then what I had before. I was known for how amazing and cool my family was, so I'm expected to be amazing and cool. I'm a sorry excuse for a son, a real sorry excuse for a Jedi. I'm just a sorry excuse for a person in general and I don't live up to the Skywalker or Solo name. I have no purpose in this world. Kylo Ren is the only thing I have ever done that deserves recognition. He is someone I'm not and that's the only thing people want. People want something I'm not, what does that say?

I don't matter. I want to meditate now. Sunset helps me forget but he is a new problem now. Snoke would kill us if he found out, I know he would. I pick up my mask and walk back to the training room.

I stop at the door and shake a little. I just now remember the wall. Nobody knows about it yet and I don't want to face it. I close my eyes and open the door. When I open, I stare at the wall opposite of me in confusion. There is still slashes in it, but all the blasters and pieces are gone and it looks as if the floor has been cleaned. I walk forward and run my Black covered hand of the slashes that were made a few hours ago. Some one found it and cleaned it... Slip? No. Slip could never do this alone and Twenty would never help him. I hope it wasn't a superior that found this.

I turn around and gulp, hope, that's all I have right now is hope. That's another thing Luke told me right before I left.

"Ben, rebellions are built on hope."

I shake my head to get rid of Luke. Get him out of my head. I sit down and throw my mask in the other direction. I hear it clatter and I kind of shrink, hoping I didn't just break it. I closed at my eyes and release a shaky scared breath.

I swing around my blue light saber and study it. I spin and start to pretend hitting things and I hear whispering. I look behind me and see Cheeb whispering to Teek. Cheebs lightsaber is nowhere to be seen and he smiles evilly at me while standing on his tip toes, whispering to a practicing Teek. Teek seems annoyed by the Cheeb constantly tugging on his robes and saying stuff into his ear. I don't even know why he's not practicing, that's what we're here for.

I roll my eyes and continue to practice by turning around. Turning around, I see Thanny and Tano hitting each others light sabers together.

"Hey. Luke didn't say were aloud to do that, stop." I say to the two girls.

Tano gives me a look of hate and shakes her head. "Sorry Master Solo, didn't realize you were in charge here."

I roll my eyes. "Just follow the rules."

Thanny retracts her lightsaber and leans on one leg with folded arms facing me. "Follow the rules? Really? Says the one that beat up a padawan."

I ignore her and continue to practice with my saber. I hear hers come to life and she begins smashing hers into Tano's again.

"Do you have hearing loss?" I look at the two girls. "Luke didn't say we could do that. He said self practice only right now."