Italy x Suicidal!Male!Reader x Germany-We Love You*Lemon*

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(A/n):Requested by CosplayNightmare , hope you like it :)

America-Alfred.F.Jones
Canada-Matthew Williams
Germany-Ludwig Beilschmidt
Italy-Feliciano Vargas
Japan-Kiku Honda
Prussia-Gilbert Beilschmidt
Romano-Lovino Vargas
Spain-Antonio Fernández Carriedo

(M/n)-Male name
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(M/n)'s P.O.V.
I grab the razor I used to cut myself a few seconds ago and run it under some hot water to clean it. I don't know why I bother because it's not like I'll need it any longer. I'm so sick of being alive.

Ever since I was a kid I have been bullied and forgotten by everyone. My parents always loved my brother more than me and forgot I even existed. They forgot my birthday every year, forgot Christmas presents and lots of other things.

I love my brother but he was always the centre of attention and I never felt like I was good enough. It's like my friend Lovino's story, I'm the forgotten brother who was never able to match up and is always forgotten.

I've been diagnosed with depression a few times, the first few I didn't believe the doctors because  o just couldn't believe it but then everything started adding up. My unwillingness to do anything, my apathy, my suicidal thoughts.

So I did something that I thought would help. I left my family and home town without telling anyone and started a new life here. In my old town I had no friends but here I have quite a few.

Except I feel like I'm just occupying space an not actually friends with anyone, Lovino has his boyfriend Antonio, Kiku has his boyfriend Alfred, Gilbert is always with Mathew and Ludwig and Feliciano.

Oh god Ludwig and Feliciano...

What can I really say except I love them. I could never choose between them but it doesn't matter really anymore, they started dating and it broke me. I lost my chance at love. But they're happy together so I'm ok.

I wouldn't really say I'm ok, I'm about to commit suicide but I'm at peace with the world. I no longer need to feel the pain of heart break, rejection and being forgotten, I wrote a note talking about how much I love those two, and how I don't want anyone to be sad.

I place down the razor I was cleaning and head to my night stand. Inside there is a gun which is fully loaded. I turn off the safety and stare at it for a second, then the door.

How I wish I could just walk out there and tell everyone what I'm going through, or someone comes in here and saves me from myself but this isn't a movie and I'm not brave enough. I hold the gun up to my head and feel tears streaming down my face. Memories are flooding back.

When I first met Feliciano and Ludwig when I moved here, I was so aloe and scared. When we all went to dinner together, when Feliciano and I got really drunk together and kissed, he doesn't remember it. When Ludwig told me about his fear of failure and we fell asleep together, cuddling. If there is an afterlife, I'm going to miss them.

Just as my finger is about to pull the trigger the door bursts open wiht a happy Feli walking through, smiling brightly, Ludwig is close behind him.

"Ve~ (M/n) do you want to go get pasta with Ludwig and I?" He asks but freezes when he sees me with the gun to my head

They both look shocked completely and I pull the gun away from my head slowly. How the hell am I going to explain this.

"(M/n), vhat are jou doing?" Ludwig asks carefully

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