The Dark Blue

Ch 13. My Fear

I acted like it never happened. I could only see auras and that was it. Nothing else.

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After some laps I stopped. I was so thirsty and I needed water. But I needed to finish some more laps first. I looked out at the wide meadow and sighed. Nothing there. Except of a bench. He won't come back. I prepared to sprint off and only took one step before I stopped when hearing something. I repeated it.

"Are you ignoring me?" I turned around and walked slowly. "Where are you...?" I called out. He had to be a ghost. He doesn't have an aura and I can't see him. Definitely a ghost.

"Here." he said and I suddenly saw him standing up, right behind the bench, which was what hid him. I rushed to him.

"You've been running past me about three times." he chuckled.

"I didn't see you." I mumbled. "Are you a..." I kept on and left a huge gap. He was looking at me with curious eyes. He had nothing around him which kind of worried me. I was kind of used to knowing how people feel. "...-a ghost?"

Well that sure made him laugh. Maybe he's not a ghost. "No, are you crazy?!" I just stood there, being all embarrassed.

"But you sure have changed." he smiled to me and I sat down next to him.

"Where were you?" I asked him, looking at him closely and slowly being reminded of how he looked like.

"I got into school." he replied and leaned against the bench with his arms supporting his head from behind. I never thought about that. I always thought that he was sick of coming or something. That he didn't like me. I was kind of nervous because I didn't know his opinion of me. I am used to it so it was weird not being able to see it suddenly.

"That's nice." I smiled.

"I don't like it." he sighed. 

"Well... It's school." I said and he agreed with me. 

"Why are you trying so hard?" he asked me. I didn't know what to say. Could I just tell this so called stranger my whole life story? I wish I could, but I was afraid of what he was thinking. It was scary not to know what someone was thinking of.

"I don't want to be humiliated again. And a bit for revenge too." I grinned. He was looking right at me. I was so scared. Why did I get so scared when I didn't know someone's thoughts? That was how everyone always had it. But when I thought about feeling like that when someone was just looking at me I knew that I'd be scared like hell if my aura-seeing ability would be taken away from me at that time.

"When do you plan to go back?"

My mind was blank. When did I plan to go back? Was I ever going back, or was my mind deep inside thinking about hiding in my house forever? I had no idea. But it was never about being thin. My problem was not my size. Well, it did rub my self esteem - but it was not the main problem. I never dared to meet my fear.

Misty was my fear. I was not afraid of her in that way. It's just that she was always the one to be there and humiliate me. And I was afraid of her doing it all over again even when I was thin. She's Misty, of course she'll find a way to do it.

What should I do? I never knew about my hidden thoughts. I never thought that I felt that way. I was physically prepared. But not mentally. I could not face her. I had realized that in life, spiders wasn't my biggest fear. It was Misty.

Why? She had the courage to do anything, no matter what the consequences are. She'd do anything to get me down. She'll never stop. That's what scares me. And that's what's making me stop. It's what makes me stay in my own little dream land thinking about the grand entrance when I enter the school. But only imagining it, and will never do it for real.

I slowly turned my head and looked at him. I had forgotten that I was with that guy. And that I didn't even know his name. But I decided to play stupid and just pretend that I didn't get what he said.

"Go back where?" I tilted my head. He was expressionless and I got that twitch in my stomach from not knowing his mood. It was like he saw through me.

"To school." he chuckled. "You always run at school time so I guess you're skipping?"

So he meant that. I was thinking about school, but the way he said it made it sound like he had a deeper meaning, like he knew that I was thinking about never going back. Maybe I was hallucinating.

"I... don't know. When I'm ready..." I said just to keep it short. But when I saw his eyes he definitely knew that there was a deep meaning, especially when I half sobbed at the last sentence. I was too sensitive. I didn't want to spill my whole life story. But I had decided that I'd face my fear. And that I'd start preparing from that very moment. I'd go imagine Misty all the time and how I give her a bitch slap! No, that's exaggerating. But something similar. Then I felt a hand patting gently on my head. I looked up and saw his kind smile, that wasn't too happy to make me feel weirded out or too depressing to make me even more sad. I seriously needed to thank this guy someday for making me realize that, but I didn't even know his name so I didn't say anything.

"Uhm... I've kind of told you a lot about me. Your turn. What's your name?" I changed the topic.

"I'm Zach Codez." he shortly said and kept the perfect harmony smile. Zach huh?

"Audree. Audree Melany." I told him my name. It got quiet so I started a new question. "I've almost told you my life story so why don't you tell me yours?"

He looked away. "It's complicated."

"I can listen all day. You know, no school for me."

"Well, I don't want to talk about it really..." he mumbled. He was looking sad so I knew that I reminded him of something bad. Stupid not-being-able-to-see-aura thing. If I could see anything around him I'd definitely not ask such harsh questions. I wonder how people can handle it not knowing the feelings of other people.

"Oh. Then... Why did you move here? To this old-fashioned town."

"A part of the story..." he smirked this time at how I hit the same spot twice in a row. I sure was stupid.

"Sorry..." I apologised.

"No need to." he laughed.

"Well, you owe me one more then." I said.

"What do you mean?"

"Because I asked you of something bad twice and you asked me only once." I explained and he seemed amused of my weird way of thinking.

"Remind me about it next time." he gave me a smirk and looked out at the broad sky. "And I'll be waiting."

"For what?" I curiously asked him.

"Until you're ready."

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He's back! WAHOOOO! An awesome comeback! And this time, the name is out! WEEEE ZACH!! HEY ZACHHH!! No, lol haha. Okay anyway, I'll cast him so that I have the clear name now at least hahah, but it's Dean Geyer woop another-drowning-in his-eyes pic hereeee -------------------->

BTW FEEL FREE TO COMMENT ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THE STORY AND I WILL ANSWER THEM ALL AT THE NEXT CHAPPIE UPDATE!!!

Should I do this? Oh what the hell... FOR SARAH MONTANA LIVING IN THE BOYS DORM-READERS but I'm going to release another chapter at SMLITBD, Sarah Montana Living In The Boys' Dorm, because I feel pitiful that I can't write more than 100 chapters... It feels like my readers deserve more, so I mashed up chapter 1 and two so that I could make another one!

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