The Dark Blue

Ch 13. My Fear

Is this story weird...? Haha I think so but weird stuff are better than normal right? :)

GOODIE ANNOUNCMENT FOR SARAH MONTANA LIVING IN THE BOYS' DORM-READERS!!!

Btw my famous dedications woop! Dedicated to 1D_are_immense_xx, because your comments and support motivated me today to post this chapter! Thank you very much!

SO. Thought that faster updates will satisfy you all better(well duh). Just thought you all deserved a faster update! And I'll probably get away of my every third week update and reduce it to two, that was my original plan since I finally kicked off writing! Couldn't believe that I managed over 4 months updating the new stories and not even writing! Always good to have chappies for you all stored!

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It was a new sensation. I wasn't me, but I was there. I was standing at the corner, just viewing all the actions made by the other me. Whoever it was. I wanted to know what it was. It was just like that time when I was sitting on the train with Krystal and scared off that guy trying to pick up Krystal, but I never gave it a second thought at that time.

Could it be one of my abilities? Being able to escape from my body, and have someone else to do my wanted actions?

Maybe it was. A new ability. It felt good but bad at the same time. Was it something good to begin with? I didn't have a clue. It felt nice from my point of view. Being able to do all those wanted things you've always wanted, but never dared to. But if I were unable to control that power, my life would be messed up. What if there's something I want to experience as myself no matter what and, unable to control it - I turn into that person. Being trapped at the corner, watching everything as I can never act by myself. This was scary.

Was I supposed to be happy? I had no idea. Something new was definitely making me curious. But it was so different compared to being able to see auras. This could be manipulating my life. Everything is done physically. And seeing auras is something that no one else can know, and something that even I won't be bothered of.

"You haven't gotten any sleep, have you?" mom asked me all worried.

I nodded. "Just thinking about something." I told her.

"About what, sweetheart?" she took my plate when I was done and put it in the sink.

"Just something."

"Is it a boy?" she giggled. God no. Why did she have that in mind? All parents think that boys are the only problems in this world. I had so many different things though, and right now it was unpleasant.

"No." I sighed. Mom is the mother anyone would want. She is kind and does anything for me. She always smiles and give me everything I need, like making breakfast everyday and then going off to her work, managing her own grocery store. But at that time I felt a bit annoyed. Well, you can't live with someone and not get annoyed of that person after a while. I bet I'll get annoyed of Krystal soon too, but I know that I love her more than hate her. "I'm going to bed." I said and went upstairs. I remained on my bed, thinking about everything.

I'm was not going to get any more sleep that night, and I knew it myself. 

But this was worth thinking about. What was I going to do with the "new ability"? Or was it even an ability? Was I supposed to tell Krystal? Was I going to use the ability?

I had decided. I realized that nothing good will come out of it. I wanted to be able to do all those things by myself. I couldn't let anyone else do my shit work. If I didn't do it myself I would still be the weak girl. I needed to grow that amazing courage by myself, and earn it instead of just getting it like that.