I Can't Seem To Let You Go

28| Messy

I can be cruel sometimes
Out of my mind
Insecure and out the door
I'm who I am and you won't have to wonder
I can be hard to handle
Dancing around the house with nothing but the radio on
I can be such a scandal
Running at the mouth then crying on the bedroom floor
I can be messy
Yeah, I admit it.
- Messy, Fifth Harmony♡

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Camila's P.O.V.

The girls and I have finally finished writing our song for the assignment and it turned out really good. We still have two more sessions before we have to turn our song in so we actually decided to start another, but it's just for fun so we weren't exactly going to perform it in front of anyone.

We're supposed to perform our first song in two days and we've already started to freak when we finished it. We still have our hopes up for getting picked to record next year.

I grab my backpack and quickly head out the door, beating Ally who's still in the shower. She'll never make it on time.

I speed down the stairs then feel myself getting pushed down from behind me and close my eyes, preparing to fall head first down the stairs and feel the cold, hard ground against my skin. But the thing is that I don't. Just before I fall, I feel a pair of strong arms catch me, preventing me from falling. I open my eyes to see who it is and my eyes meet the chocolate brown eyes that make me feel like the weakest creature on earth. My heartbeat gets faster as I swallow the lump in my throat. What the hell is happening to me?

"Are you okay?" His delicate voice says. I blink a few times before nodding. "Th-thanks." I mumble. I straighten my posture and step away from him. I briefly look into his eyes and I think I see a look of hurt in them. He looks away quickly and I look up to the stairs to see who pushed and I'm not surprised to see Ariana standing right in the spot I stood in before I almost fell. I can't exactly read the expression on her face.

I look back at Shawn and notice him stealing a little glance at me. He pretends to be looking somewhere else and I tuck a stray curl of my hair behind my ear. I suddenly feel my eyes getting a little cloudy and I take a deep breath and quickly turn around and run as fast as I can outside the building.

I approach the school building campus and stand in my place for a moment, looking for a familiar face in this ocean of people to run to. I feel a tear slip down my cheek and quickly wipe it then jog down the hall to the girls bathroom that nobody ever uses. I push the door open and go inside. I throw my backpack near the sink before collapsing down the ceramic wall and hugging my knees up to my chest. I feel tears flowing from my eyes like a waterfall as I bury my face in my knees. What the hell is going on with me? Since when did I become this weak? Just the fact that he spoke to me made me freak out like hell! Could I possibly...? No! I couldn't! I just couldn't! 

I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to function properly if I keep having these suddenly meltdowns every time I even just look at Shawn! I'm beginning to rethink that I actually even have any feelings for Austin at all. 

The bathroom door opens and I hear someone come in. "Camila?" Lauren's voice says worriedly. "Oh my god! Are you okay? I came running as soon as I saw you taking off down the hall." She sits next me on the floor and puts her hand around my shoulder. I never thought I'd ever say that but I'm really glad that she's here.

I take my head off my knees and hug her tightly, burying my face in her neck. "I don't know what's happening to me. I've never felt this weak before. Especially for him. I just don't know how or what to feel anymore." I say, my voice cracking. "Shh, it's okay. Don't cry because it won't make you feel any better." Lauren says then pulls away from me but still keeps her hands on my shoulder. "You're much stronger than this, I know so. I need you to find the courage inside to break through. You don't cry, Camila. I know you better than this. I may have not been the sweetest to you but I've been around you long enough to notice how strong you are." I'm glad she chose not question why I'm crying because I don't intend on telling anyone about this.