Pakisabi Na Lang 2 (A JaiLene Fanfiction)

CHAPTER 51

WARNING: R-18

DRAKE

"Babe..." Shirley said in a sweet, sweet tone while hugging him tightly from the back.

He willed his heart to be as cold and hard as ice. It was hard because Shirley has always been his weakness. But if he won't, all his efforts to ignore and avoid her for the past week will surely go down the drain.

Ngunit hindi niya maitanggi ang panghihinang nararamdaman ng katawan niya habang yakap-yakap siya nito. He looked at her locked hands on his stomach and touched them gingerly. Napa-pikit siya ng mariin.

She looked thinner than the last time he saw her. Mas naging maliit ang bewang at mas naging malungkot ang mga mata. But he tried not to care; he tried not to be concerned about her anymore. Ginawa niyang bulag at bingi ang sarili sa lahat ng bagay na tungkol dito.

Nagtatagumpay na siya. Alam niyang nagagawa niya na. Sa campus ay nakakaya niyang hindi ito sadyang hanapin. Kapag uwian ay dumidiretso na siya sa apartment at hindi na ito palihim pang sinusundan at inihahatid tulad noon.

He's succeeding. Alam niyang kaunti na lang ay makakalimutan na talaga niya na si Shirley. Sa umpisa lang mahirap. Masasanay din siyang wala ito. Masasanay siyang hindi ito kasama. Masasanay siyang hindi ito ang mahal.

"Walang namagitan sa'min noon. Ikaw lang, Drake. Ikaw lang, paniwalaan mo naman ako. The reason why you often saw us together before is because I have a lot of things I can't tell you."

What the fuck, Shirley, you think you could win me back with that lame reason? Humigpit ang palad niya sa magkahawak nitong kamay na nagsisilbing kandado sa mga bisig nitong ipinipirmi siya. He doesn't care if it feels so good being enclosed like this in her arms or being hugged tightly by the woman he wanted the most in this world.

Ayaw niya nang magtanga-tangahan pa. Alam niya ang katotohanan. He'd seen it with his own two eyes. He saw how Shirley chose Sebastian right in front of his face. Noong magpunta siya sa school para dito. Nakita siya ni Shirley. He even called her name. Ngunit sa halip na siya ang lapitan ay kay Sebastian ito kumapit. Sa halip na sa kanya ito sumama kay Sebastian ito nagpatangay.

And of course how he could forget the goddamned fucking kiss they shared under that old godforsaken tree? Hindi mawala sa memorya niya ang mga iyon. Maging ang kaliit-liitang detalye ay naaalala niya.

He's disappointed with Shirley. Ganito ba ka-tanga ang tingin nito sa kanya? Na kayang pawiin ng walang kuwentang excuse na iyon ang galit na kay tagal naipon sa puso niya? At sa muling pagpili nito kay Sebastian, para bang ibinalik lang siya nito sa noon.

Pero kasalanan niya rin naman kung bakit nandito si Shirley sa kanyang kasalukuyan. He let Shirley in his life again even after everything that happened. He's so stupid for thinking that this time things will really change between them. That she's really in love with him. That she'll finally fully commit to him. He's so stupid for loving this woman faithfully after all these years.

Siguro nga tama ang iniisip ni Shirley sa kanya. Tanga nga siguro siya.

She continued talking. Giving him explanations he never needed anymore. Binigyan niya na ito ng pagkakataon. Ibinigay niya dito ang lahat ng oras para magsalita noon. But now when he's not asking for it anymore, saka ito magsasalita?

Gusto niyang magwala at sumigaw. Gusto niyang ipakita dito kung gaano ito ka-komplikado. Kung gaano ito kahirap mahalin. Kung gaano kahirap manatili sa tabi nito. She's a damn piece of work!

If she couldn't trust him like how she trusts Sebastian, bakit pa nandito ito ngayon? Bakit pa ito nakikiusap na pakinggan at balikan niya? Kung kailan pagod na siya, kung kailan ayaw niya na, kung kailan sinusubukan na niyang kalimutan ito ang nararamdaman para dito.