My Living Nightmare - Tom Kaulitz

I Like It When You Fight Back

I was silent the whole time in the car, I couldn't bring myself to talk, I was to busy drowning in fear. Tom only spoke to me a few times "You better behave yourself tonight" He said the same thing about three times on the drive there.

The car came to a stop and I got out seeing the big crowd, my cheeks pink under the light. I was standing at the door, just staring as the other cars pulled up. I saw the girls get out and went to make my way over to a little hidden spot when Tom grabbed my arms and pulled me into his arms, pressing his lips to mine. I went tense, my body getting ready to fight but I just went limp in his arms, not wanting to fight anymore. Tom squeezed his eyes shut and kissed me so strongly my head was beginning to feel a little woozy. His arm was around my waist as the other was at my face, gently sitting against my skin. He let me go and slowly opened his eyes, staring at me. I dropped my eyes from his and he dropped his arm from around my waist and sighed quietly before turning from me.

"Taylor!" Ria called as she ran over.

I wanted to quickly turn and run, but I knew she would just chase me. I turned to her, not even bothering to smile "Hey babe, how you feeling?" She asked, putting her arm around my shoulder.

"Fine" I replied.

It was silent for a little while, as if Ria was waiting for me to continue, but I had nothing else to say. She sighed "What's the matter Taylor?"

I stood there "Nothing" my eyes down to the ground.

Ria sighed "Look I know something is wrong, I have been your best friend for how many years?"

"Nothing is wrong Ria, I'm just doing as I'm told" I said, my voice sounding like a robot almost, no emotion what so ever.

"And that's how I know something is wrong, you never do as your told" I was getting overwhelmed now, she wouldn't stop asking me what was wrong and it was building up all the emotions inside, making them try and burst.

"So tell me what's wrong" I glanced over to Tom who was in the crowd talking to people, I glanced back at his car and to the backseat where it all took place and then I turned to Ria, and then I burst into tears.

I turned from Ria and started to run for my quiet little place "Taylor!" Ria called as she chased after me.

The tears were out of control, I couldn't stop them from pouring out. I ran to the little gap between the buildings and slammed myself against the wall. I slammed my fist against the wall and rest my head into the rocks. I let out a loud cry scratching my fingers down the rocks. Ria's arms were suddenly around me and I gasped for air from all the crying. I was shaking now, my body jerking back and forth, Ria was finding it hard to keep me still "Sshh, it's okay" Ria said, herself beginning to cry "It's going to be alright"

I closed my eyes shut and continued to lean against the wall "How is it going to be okay?" I choked out "You can't take back what he did, you can't change it" I cried.

"What did he do?" Ria cried as she stroked my hair.

I turned around, my cries a little calmer now, I stared her in the eyes and she stared back "He raped me Ria, he raped me!" I cried.

Ria was shocked, she stood still with me in her arms, her face completely shocked "How is that okay?" I cried as I took a step back "Tell me, how is that okay!"

Ria finally managed to speak "I'm so sorry" She cried, resting her head on top of mine.

"I-I can't get him out of my head, I can't get the sounds he made out of my head" I said as I shook in her arms, tears straining down my cheeks "I can't get his scent off of me"