My Living Nightmare - Tom Kaulitz

I Don't Know What To Do Anymore

It's been two weeks, two long terrifying weeks. I'd contemplated running away every night, every silent night that I laid in his bed, waiting, waiting for him. The nights became longer, the nights became more silent, though I hated Tom Kaulitz, something about him being away was uncomforting, it irritated me for a few nights, as to why I felt so...vulnerable, I no longer felt protected, my protector was gone, though he was also my intruder, my monster that hid under my bed, my living nightmare. It was another silent night, though I was no longer huddled on his big dark bed, I was now huddled on the large seat beside his hospital bed, leaning on the side of it. I had finally built up the courage to enter his room, I was terrified when ever I just thought about coming in here, but tonight I just took a deep breath and I managed to step through that door and make my way in. My heart was thudding against my chest and my breathing was getting heavy, but once I saw his face I relaxed, something about the look of innocence on his sleeping face gave me this overwhelming comfort that almost made me burst into tears. I fell asleep beside him, listening to his heart beat, listening to his soft breaths, it was so different. I was used to listening to his loud voice yelling at me, his breathing heavy from the screams, but now he was...harmless. It wasn't long before I was awoken, I widened my eyes, a little frightened at how dark the room was, I lied still, not wanting to move, just wanting to listen. It was then I realized that it was Tom that awoke me from his sudden movement. I quickly jumped up and away from his bedside and watched on as he began to stir. As he turned his head side to side a bit before his eyes fluttering open my heart began to lump in my throat again and I ran out of the room, terrified once his eyes met mine. I ran down the stairs, once again avoiding the lift. By the time I reached the last step I tripped up and went crashing down onto the hospital's cold shiny floor, skidding a little way. I was quickly accompanied by a handsome doctor who lifted me to my feet "Oh, thank you" I said, too distracted to smile.

"No problem" He began with a concerned look on his face.

I went to run off but he grabbed my arm, I turned back to him, anger and fear in my eyes "Miss is everything ok?" He asked, staring into my blue watering eyes.

"Yes" I said annoyed, trying to pull from his grasp, but he refused to let go.

"Miss" He began, but he was disrupted by a loud yell.

"Get your fucking hand off her!" Tom's splitting voice yelled down the hall, aimed at the handsome doctor who had me by the arm.

Then I panicked, I flicked my arm from him aggressively before running down the hall "Taylor!" Tom called, his voice piercing my ears, it felt as if it followed me down the hall...chased me down the hall, like a missile locked onto its target.

I kept running, crashing through the front doors before heading through the parking lot and down the street. It wasn't long till I was panting and crying heavily. I tripped over my own feet and landed on my hands and knees in some gravel, I gasped at the stings of pain, my hands felt as if they were being continuously stabbed at by sharp needles. I crossed my legs and rocked back and fourth crying in the mess of gravel and blood. Some stones were wedged in my hand, I went to try and pull one out but a tiny nudge sent an uncomfortable twitch of pain so I decided to leave it alone "I don't know what to do" I cried, clutching my numb hand to my chest "I don't know what to do anymore" I repeated, closing my stained eyes shut.

Suddenly some shuffling came from in front of me and my eyes shot open to look up at the man I was running from. He knelt down to look me in the face "You can start by, letting me take a look at your hand" He said, nudging his head towards it clutched against my chest.

I stared at him, my sobbing now stopped, just the few last tears still slowly trailing down my face smudging some of my mascara. I didn't remove my eyes from his till he put out his hand "May I?" His voice was soft, I had never heard him like this before, I had never seen this look he has in his eyes, his dark eyes were warm, like a warm liquid, and they were no longer as solid as stone.