[Chapter Nine] Addison

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And I don't want the world to see me
    'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
                  When everything's made to be broken
                             I just want you to know who I am 

                                                       - Iris: Goo Goo Dolls


Chapter Nine –Addie

It just didn't make any sense, when I took that step towards Liam, I couldn't figure out why. He was just a jerk to me, and I didn't see why I should give in to him, let alone let him near me. let anyone near me.

Nearness brings pain. Everyone hurts you, and nobody can really be trusted in this world. But here I was letting him run his thumb against my bare skin on my face. And like always, I over think everything so I got away from him as quickly as I could. I was terrified that he would hurt me too.

They all seemed nice in the beginning, but it was just to weaken my defense so they could get close to me, and then it never ended well.

I felt bad that he seemed to take offense to my action, I knew he really wasn't a bad guy, I could see it in the way he acted and treated people, I knew it but I just couldn't bring myself to believe it.

But when he told me that he would never hurt me that he wouldn't harm me that he would rather die than do that, it really got through. I believed him. He may have been rude earlier, but he never physically harmed me.

He never pushed me past what I wanted, even now he's giving me all the power in this, letting me say no, letting me say if he can touch me, letting me decide. And if I were to say no, he would leave. I know he would. But I didn't want him too.

I could feel that he was the right person that I should be opening up to, no matter how much I wanted to keep everyone away from me, no everyone was like my family. People actually cared in this world, people had a heart.

His hands were held out for me, and even though I was terrified, I knew I had to do this. It was just a hug, that's all; A simple touch that I could start and end when I wanted. He wouldn't force me to do anything.

I took small steps forward, my heart was hammering in my chest, but I knew I could do it. I kept repeating it in my head.

There was nothing to be afraid of, his touch wouldn't burn like I was the devil who got holy water thrown on her. His touch was nothing to be afraid of. He's told me he wouldn't hurt me. He's told me he cares about me too. I can see that he does, that they all do.

I was a barley a foot from him when I froze. I couldn't do this, I just couldn't. What was I thinking, I wasn't strong enough for this, I didn't know what could happen if I let him touch me. maybe I was the devil and he was holy ground. I don't know.

I was about to bolt when he smiled at me so sweetly, it was so encouraging and I felt strength in it. before I could change my mind, before I could really think about it, I just jumped.

I jumped into his arms and he was quick to wrap his arms around me so we wouldn't fall. I was touching another person, letting someone touch me. not only that I was trusting him with myself. He could drop me but I knew he wouldn't

I had trust in him that he wouldn't harm me, I don't know why, I just did. I knew that none of them would hurt me, but baby steps with people.

He sat us down and before I knew it I was waking up to a kiss on the forehead and he was leaving. I reacted and reached out to him.

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