[Chapter Five] Addison

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The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares.
                                                                  -Henri Nouwen

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Chapter Five- Addison

I woke up to find a very adorable sleeping puppy in my arms. I was confused because I remember putting him outside in his cage with the others, I distinctly remember that. I wasn't up long when Auntie came in with food.

She smiled sadly at me, and I frowned in confusion, why was she looking at me like that? I shrugged and she took Keisha outside, and I ate my food in silence.

I used to hate the silence, I always had to be talking or playing music to make up for it, but now I felt safe in it. it was like plane white walls in a bare room, nothing could hide there.

I could hear is someone was coming, and I could be ready, but with noise, you can get lost in it and not see things coming until it was too late. Too late to run, and it's not silent enough for people to hear you scream.

Silence is safe.

I was sitting in my room when I heard a knock at my door, I walked over and answered it, and when I saw Liam I smiled and let him in.

We talked, and he seemed to be able to see right through me, and that scared me. I hated it, but I couldn't bring myself to push him away. There was something about him that screamed 'trust me' but I also know that could be deceiving.

Something tells me that even if I did push him away, he wouldn't go. And if he did, he wouldn't stay away for long. I guess only time will tell.

I cannot believe I fell asleep. How could I forget about the nightmares? That was what sent my parents over the edge with me. God the whole house could probably hear me screaming and Liam's house too.

When he told me I had a nightmare I froze up. And I must have been okay with him touching me in my sleep, because I didn't wake up and he carried me inside. That's why Keisha was in my bed this morning. I didn't ask him for specifics, I just asked him for space.

He was good at listening, he didn't push me, and he just gave it to me. He asked if I wanted to go to the lake, and I was unsure, but agreed anyways.

I spent the next hour thinking about all the things I could have said, how people were feeling, who I woke up, just everything that nightmare caused, and I felt bad, because I knew it wouldn't be my last one. I had them nearly every night at home.

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An hour later I was sitting on the couch waiting for Liam to drop by, and right on time he walked in the house. Punctual is a good thing. I gave him a small smile

 "Ready to go?" He asked me and I nodded and followed him. I could tell that he was a gentleman and was beating himself up for not being able to hold the door, but I thought he was more of a gentleman for respecting my space.

 "Can you ride a horse?" he asked, and since I wasn't quite sure, I just shrugged

He saddled two horses for us. One horse significantly smaller than the other, and I was relieved, the other horse was huge.

He called the horse Hadley, and jumped right up on his like he's been doing it his whole life, which of course he probably has.

It was a long and quiet ride, but it wasn't a bad silence. It was completely peaceful, my eyes darted everywhere trying to take it all in. I never realized how beautiful nature was. In Seattle, there isn't much room for natural beauty. And with my parents, I never traveled anywhere except the hot tropics.

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