Secrets In Silence ✓ [Secrets Book 1]

[Chapter Eight] Liam

I got up and as slowly as I could made my way up the stairs, and when I found myself staring at her door, I raised my hand to knock, but put it back down. I couldn't do this. I couldn't talk to her now. I turned away but stopped and turned back to knock and chickened out again. As soon as my back was turned to the door I heard a knock on it and turned around quick to see Kalila running to her room. Brat.

I was shaking my head in her direction and froze when I noticed that Addie had opened the door. I didn't know what to say still or how to start, but I figured turning to face her was a good way to go. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me when I saw her.

Her eyes were bloodshot, red, swollen and blotchy. She looked sicker than before, and I knew it was my fault this time. I had to resist the urge to reach out and touch her, hug her and pull her close. I wanted to make her alright again. I didn't want her to fear being touched. I didn't want her to feel empty.

I think we were pushing her too far and that's what caused her not to eat. It makes sense. If her parents are as bad as I'm told they are, then she has no control. It's what they want, not what she wants. They sent her away when she didn't want to ad gave her no choice in the matter. Then to top it off we've maybe been pushing her too hard, they've been making her eat and I guess throwing it up is the only thing she feels she can control in her life.

I didn't know what to say and she went to shut the door in my face, I put my hand out and stopped it right before it shut and she didn't make a move to open it or push harder to shut it. we sat there like that, her leaned slightly against one side and me on the other keeping it open.

I felt like that was our relationship right there. That I was barely keeping it open, and she was trying to shut me out, I deserved that now, I deserved not to be let in after what I said, but I felt like if she shut the door now she would never open it again, that I would lose that forever, that there would be no other chance.

"Please Addie." Was all I could say at this point, I didn't know what else to do.

We sat there for a few minutes more, and when she leaned away from the door, slowly taking pressure off of it, the pressure I had been applying slowly let me open it. It took a while, but then I was staring at her again.

 "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't shut me out," I told her. I took a step forward so I was right in the door way, and she took one back. I kept my eyes locked with hers. While I spoke again "I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I was mad and I didn't mean it," I took one more forward and she took one back again. "You are an amazing and strong person, and please just let me help you." I took another and looked over my shoulder to shut the door behind me.

I expected to see her all the way across the room by now, but I was surprised when I looked back in front of me to see her standing right there. She didn't take one back, but one forward.

This is the closest we've ever been willingly except from when she slapped me and I was holding my breath to see what her next move would be.

She didn't move and she looked like she was as confused by this as I was, like she didn't know what we were standing this close, why she wasn't at least ten feet away, why she even let me in here.

I raised one hand slowly and her eyes snapped to it. I didn't touch her, but I was moving to do it. "Just shake your head if you want me to stop" I told her when I kept moving my hand towards her face "I'm sorry I hurt you, but know that I will never, ever hurt you physically or do anything you don't want me to." She nodded as she looked at me like a deer in headlights.

I was expecting her to bolt the second my hand touched her bare skin but she didn't. My thumb brushed over her cheek softly and slowly, and we both held our breath as I did. She closed her eyes and leaned into my hand. It was amazing to see when I knew that she didn't like to be touched.