Before You Exit Preferences

5.4 Heart Wants What The Heart Wants

Connor:

You got me sippin' on something,I can't compare to nothing

I've ever known, I'm hoping,That after this fever I'll survive-Selena Gomez

Running a hand through my hair as I looked at all the pictures Connor and i have taken together. All the smiles and laughter shared were now turning to never ending fights. Everything is becoming clear and I don't know how much longer I can hold on for.

"It's kinda like he has this type of drug over me.." I licked my chapped lips explaining to my best friend just what was going on. "It's like what him and I have is something that I can't compare with anyone or anything else..." I mumbled as she looked at me.

"But it's toxic Y/N.." She stated softly pacing her coffee mug on the wooden table before us. I sighed nodding, I knew this. I knew whatever Connor and i had was no longer a fun, carefree and happy relationship yet I couldn't break through from it.

"I'm just hoping that I'll service after everything. Even if we end up broken up I don't want him out of my life. He means too much for me to just let him go....." I mumbled before looking down. "I just hope I don't become a depressed and overly upset person if i ever where to lose him for good."

Riley:

The bed's getting cold and you're not here,the future that we hold is so unclear- Selena Gomez

Sighing, I roll over in the overly gigantic bed. Everything about this trip has made me question mine and Riley's relationship. I'm head over heels in love with the boy. no doubt. But being here for as long as I have, as made me wonder if his feelings for me are half as what mine are for him.

The whole propose of me being here was so we could hang out more, but yet here I was. It was one of their off days on the European tour and he was out with everyone else. He didn't even bother to ask me to come, so of course when Toby and Connor had asked I turned them down in hopes of Riley asking.

I don't know what kind of future we hold at the moment. I don't know if I should just get up and take my stuff in leave. Looking around the room my eyes landed on the clock, I knew what I had to do. Pulling out my phone I quickly purchased a ticket back to the states. Throwing on a random hoodie found on the floor, I packed up things and left for the airport with an unclear future standing for the both of us.

Toby:

Lightening me up like Venus,but then you disappear and make me wait-Selena Gomez

Smiling at the computer screen, Toby gave me a soft smile before lickings his lips. "Hey, babe." He smiled as I felt the butterflies fill my body. Sighing I lend back getting comfy as our conversation had begun. it wasn't long before we were saying goodbye.

Closing my macbook, I closed my eyes imagining his smile. It was true things were hard I wasn't going to lie about that, but still we found a way to make things work. I just hated that at times he left me hanging. I missed the burning fire I felt when he was around.

Whenever he would text me, I felt like it was a tiny little fire he was starting only to set shut down in a matter of seconds. It was always like he would be lighting me up, thousands of fireworks going off, to disappearing as soon as he did as well. He kept me alive and happy and it upset me when he would disappear and wouldn't make an effort as too contacting me.