YOᑌ ᗩGᗩIᑎ

Chapter 27.

“This coffee is amazing!”

I moaned as I took the first sip of my Americano black. Lauren kept on staring at me while taking small sips from her coffee. Even though I felt her eyes on me, I never actually made an eye contact with her. Not since we were in her apartment a while ago. After talking about how she couldn't choose between Reyna and I,  Lauren grabbed my hand and we made our ways out of the apartment. Lauren finally remembered why we were here in New York at the first place. So here we were having a cup of coffee at three in the evening.

I was smiling on the outside, you know? No matter how bad it hurt me on the inside I made sure to put up a happy face to show I was not bothered by anything. I was doing a pretty great job because Lauren didn't ask what was wrong with me. Maybe she knew. Maybe Lauren already knew why I was upset and decided not to talk about it. But I wanted to talk about this. Dinah's words from two weeks ago were still ringing in my ears and she was right, I did need to pressure Lauren into choosing between Reyna and I. She can't have both.

But that didn't mean I was doing it right now. I wanted to enjoy my time with Lauren in this small coffee shop as much as I could. My instincts and my gut feeling told me something would go incredibly wrong and maybe this would be the last time I'd be drinking coffee with this girl sitting right in front of me. Maybe I'd never do that again if I asked her to choose. But then there was the slight possibility of her choosing me as well.

Recalling the time where she herself told me how much she was in love with me and how she only loved Reyna made me a little bit sane. It made this situation a little bit less complicated. But then again, even if Lauren just loved her as a friend she was marrying her in the end. It wouldn't be me. Lauren wouldn't go out and introduce me as her wife to the rest of the world. And I wanted nothing else than to be labelled as Lauren Jauregui's wife. No one knows how lucky it makes Reyna. She was attaining the unattainable.

You know, human heart is a fragile thing. It would desire for something that is difficult to get. When you finally get it, your heart will give you all the different ideas on how to keep it or leave it. My heart told me not to come here with Lauren all those years ago and now my heart wanted her again and I regretted leaving the girl in front of me. Heart is a stupid, stupid organ. Only if it had stuck to its original job; pumping of blood. Everything would have been alot more easier.

At times I feel like switching the humanity switch off like they do in Vampire TV shows. They makes it look so easy. They make the heartbreak look so damn bearable by turning their feelings off but in the real world you just go through it without telling anyone what you actually feel. Even if you talk to someone about your feelings, you could never really describe what you are going through on the inside and it was the worst thing you have to go through.

Just like me, I was happy for Lauren. If she chose Reyna, she would marry the world's most beautiful, the kindest and the most loving person. Reyna would be good for Lauren. Reyna was there for her in her struggles, her success and would be there till the end. While I on the other hand, well. I guess Lauren doesn't trust me well enough with her heart anymore. My stupid heart was happy for Lauren and Reyna but at the same time it was devastated because I wouldn't be sitting here or anywhere with her for that matter if Lauren gets married. I would distance myself so much that she wouldn't even know where I went. I'll leave Lauren alone. All she had to do was choose.

“I know right? I used to come here all the time. In my opinion, Gabe's Coffee House is the best in the whole New York.”

“Thanks Laur, I appreciate that!” a middle aged man said out loud and Lauren instantly raised a thumbs up without even looking behind.

Lauren took a sip of her cappuccino and placed the mug on the table. She shut her eyes close in pure ecstacy before grinning at me. She was so cute, yeah! I probably wouldn't say that to her because calling someone ‘cute’ at times hits the ego but Lauren was definitely cute. And maybe that was why I didn't want to bring ‘that’ conversation up. She will probably get angry and her cute playful self would turn into something else.