YOᑌ ᗩGᗩIᑎ

Chapter 6

It was so wrong.

This whole thing was wrong and a person with a better foresight would be able to tell what a mess I was going to create for everyone. I was blind when it came to Lauren. I chose not to see the worst case scenarios whenever she was around because all I wanted to do was spend some time with her. Lauren was still her same perfect self and that was the part which scared me the most. I was scared of breaking my promise to Austin. She still looked at me with a touch of madness in her eyes and all I could do is surrender to her insanity.

But it wasn't just about me or her anymore. There were three other people involved who will get hurt in the process of me trying to be with Lauren again. My mind was a total mess, I wanted some relief but the only sanity I will have would be from the girl who has occupied my mind from the past ten years. Everything was better before. I was okay, I was stabled and then suddenly she came back into my life and made me question my entire marriage. She messed up so bad. If I were a sincere wife, I would have stayed with Austin and never would have thought about Lauren again but Austin was right; a part of me belonged to her. It always had. And it would only be a matter of time when I'll fully submit myself to her, even if she doesn't want me anymore.

Maybe I was cursed. Maybe I didn't deserve anything good in life and when I do find one stabled and a healthy lifestyle, I try my best to ruin it by trying to go after something which was unattainable. Lauren was unattainable. I treated her like an object when she was mine, I told her not to go out and drink. I was possessive when she talked to any other woman other than me and I tried to keep her with me as much as I could and when the time came, she had had enough. And now she had everything that I didn't allow her to own.

Now Lauren was like a golden statue of Aphrodite behind the glass in a museum. The statue which I could only see and admire from afar but I couldn't touch it because it was the museum's property. Maybe my conscience was right. Maybe I did want Lauren so desperately now just because I knew I couldn't have her. Maybe I was just here to ruin her happiness because honestly, I can't be a person who will make another person happy. At least I knew that it would hurt Austin, the man who loved me even at my worst.

Ten years ago, I was controlling. My mind only revolved around the people Lauren interacted with. I tried to make her crave for me even though I already knew she was in love with me. I pushed Lauren to say the words even though people say that action speaks louder than words. I just wanted her to say and she wasn't good at it. I wanted her to chase me, I wanted her to crave me just like I did and even when I knew that the feelings were mutual, I didn't trust her enough just because of something my ex-boyfriend did to me. And now that I fully trusted her with my entire being, she didn't want me anymore.

And I have accepted the rule of the world. You can't always get what your heart desired.

I watched her as she sat across the room. She looked like a dream. She was the perfect combination of beauty and sexiness and as much as I wanted to believe that it was all just physical when it came to her, it wasn't. I was emotionally attracted to her as well. I noticed all the little details about her. I noticed how she looked at the toddlers' lips whenever they talked and diverted her gaze from their eyes to their lips. I noticed the way she pushed her hair back and pulled her legs up on the leather couch. She was full of flaws, yet, they were all perfect to me.

And it was all wrong. But Lauren was unreal.

I sat in a huge living room of Lauren's house. It was a perfect home for three people but Lauren was extravagant and made sure to buy a huge house from the money she earned from her paintings. The house had a pool and it was pretty much the only thing which would draw me back here again. I sat on the leather couch, right opposite to Lauren and the toddlers who were now coloring the picture Lauren drew them. If I wasn't already so smitten, I surely would have fallen in love with the girl who was so amazingly nice to the two kids who were definitely eating her brains out.