YOᑌ ᗩGᗩIᑎ

Chapter 13.

Nervous. That was how I felt.

I reached the park where Lauren asked me to meet. I thought maybe she would be gone but she was sitting there on a swing and waited for me to come while I sat in my car across the street and just watched her. She looked upset. She looked down at her feet while the swing moved back and forth slowly. I don't even recall seeing her looking up to me and I realized how badly I screwed everything up. I was nervous to see her but the guilt took over everything.

I possibly ruined everything for her.

I would lie and say that I was nervous to see her but I was more guilty. I couldn't hear what she has to say. I knew it would fuck my entire existence up and maybe that was why I couldn't move out of the car. I sat inside my vehicle for over an hour now. Just like Lauren promised that she would leave, she didn't. She was still waiting for me. I finally gathered the courage to walk out of the car. I needed to do this now or I'll probably lose everything.

Taking a huge sigh, I got out of the car and made my way towards the girl I loved in very slow and steady steps. I was sweating and it was the start of December now. I mentally prepared myself once again and recalled the whole conversation in my head. I shouldn't chicken out while talking to her. Lauren still looked down at her feet while playing with her fingers. Just like Dinah told me, her arm was plastered and there was a bandage on her head. It pained me to see her that way, specially knowing that I was the reason behind this. The slow movements of the swing made me nauseous even though I wasn't even sitting on it.

And finally, I reached her and she looked up to me.

“You came,”

Her voice sounded so broken and weak. She sounded as if she was so glad that I was here but also didn't want to see me. I just smiled in response. I was scared of breaking her if I would say anything. Nodding my head yes, I watched her take a step closer to me and embrace me in a long hug. It surprised me at first but then I realized what was happening. Lauren wasn't hitting me. She was freaking hugging me.

I instantly wrapped my arms around her too and hugged her. She snuggled her face in my neck once again and I held her closer to me and felt the warmth radiating from her. Soon, the two of us pulled away and Lauren looked into my eyes, staring me like I was her entire world. Maybe that was what Austin was talking about. Because if she looked at me like this all the time then I would probably confuse myself too. She loved me but she was not in love with me and that fucking hurt.

“How badly are you hurt?” I asked Lauren, my hand slightly touched her autographed plaster. The girl in front of me chuckled mildly. Her eyes looking down at her feet again.

“Physically or emotionally?”

I looked away instantly because I honestly had no words anymore. Lauren was physically hurt but emotionally she looked devastated. I don't know what she had to go through at home or how Reyna reacted to the news of me being in love with her girlfriend but by the looks of it, it didn't go nicely and I hated myself for blurting it out to Reyna.

“How did everything go with Reyna?” I asked, ignoring Lauren's previous question which was an answer itself.

Lauren looked away and kept on looking away. I felt like she was trying to find an escape from me and avoided looking at me but on the other hand I thought that I was being paranoid. For a little while she didn't say anything and I also didn't make any effort to talk to her. I know I should have said something by now but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

“That night you told her that you were in love with me,” Lauren broke the silence as her voice trembled in the end.

I nodded my head, “Yes, I know. I was there.” I tried to joke and come up with an excuse to lower this thick air but it didn't work. Lauren just looked at me with no damn expression on her face.