Love hurts?

Secret visitor

Michael's POV

After I told Ocean about what happened when I was a kid, I thought for sure she'd be disgusted with me and leave me, but she understood everything and even after I told her and all the other bullshit she's had to deal with from me, she's still somehow found it in her heart to still love me and every night I pray and thank god for bringing her into my life. In a way I'm happy somebody understands and that I'm not the only one this has happened to, but in another way I really wish that it hadn't been Ocean. Like I said she's already had to put up with my bullshit and now I find out just like me she's had to hold on to this shameful secret

We sat a talked about it for a long time and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted and my head seems a lot clearer.

***

I really wanna make things right between me and my mother and have that closeness we once had back. I know it's not going to easy but I'm going to try and talked to her today. I still have the trackers on Sherri and Jessica's cars so once they leave the area I head over to see my mother.

I stand and brace myself before knocking on the door. I still have no clue what I'm going to say but hopefully I'll manage to think of something once I see her.

I knock a few times but nobody answers. I'm about to leave then I see the curtains twitching and knock again. Knowing I've seen her my mother finally comes to the door. "What are you doing here?" I hear her through the closed door "I just wanna talk to you, can you please let me in?"

"You shouldn't be here"

"Please? Just open the door. I'm not here to fight I just wanna talk" she doesn't answer for a moment then finally opens the door and let's me in.

We sit on the sofa in silence for a moment neither of us not really knowing what to say "about that day" I mumble breaking the awkward silence "I didn't mean to yell at you the way I did"

"How could you do those things?" She shakes her head "I didn't do it on purpose, it's not like I planned to hurt anybody...I was sick and I still am" I start to explain "but I'm better now and I'm not the person I was then"

"My son would never do those things" she shakes her head. "I didn't, that wasn't me. That's what I'm trying to explain.. half the time I didn't even know I'd done anything until it was to late I'd black out and...."

"You don't just forget something like that" she frowns. "Michael, what you did to that girl is unforgivable"

"Ocean forgave me long time ago. She understands that..."

"She didn't forgive you! She was terrified of you! And probably still is!" She snaps cutting me off "but she did! She told me herself she forgives me. She understands that I was sick and she loves me and she's supported me through all of this"

"Michael, that poor girl never loved you...you forced her! That's not love that's fear" I shake my head "no, she does love me and I love her" she frowns looking at me skeptically "are you still with her?"

"Yes, but please don't say anything if her parents find out, then we won't be able to get DJ back" I explain "and they'd be right not to! A child is a blessing from God and after what you've done. What makes you think you deserve that blessing?"

"He's my son!" I frown. "And Ocean's my wife"

"I didn't raise my son this way...I raised my son to be good and to love and respect people not...."

"But I do! I love Ocean and I do respect her" she frowns shaking her head. "You snuck into the girls room, pinned her down and STOLE her I innocence"