The Girl in the Mirror 2 (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 42

I never thought, I never even dreamt that I'd be here now. I never dared think that I could be led in bed beside the beauty that is Sienna Star. The woman whose posters graced my bedroom wall for years as a teenager. Those posters never did her justice, no picture in the world could do this woman justice. The only way you can truly appreciate her beauty is living in a moment like this, feeling her skin against yours. That means no other person will ever live this, not if I get my way. She's mine now and there's no way I'm letting her go, not without a serious fight.

I've loved this woman since I first saw her, not even in person, I mean on TV. I loved her from the first music video she released. The one when she strutted around and danced around in baggy jeans and a crop top, showing off her toned midriff. Her hair was curly, hanging over her shoulders and I remember every girl at school wanted to be her and every boy wanted to be with her. I still remember the young teenager in me wanting to fuck her, so I could tell everyone I touched THE Sienna Star. I use to day dream about her at school, imagining what would happen if I ever got to speak to her face to face. I don't think any day dream could prepare me for what has become my reality.

All of those thoughts and day dreams are in the past now. I've grown up since then, meaning the man I've become doesn't just think about fucking women anymore, the man I am now just wants to love her. I want to love every inch of her for every day for the rest of my life and right now I do. I do love her and it partly fucking terrifies me. The growing feelings I feel inside scare me to death because I swore I wouldn't fall in love again. I swore I wouldn't fall in love with anyone, especially not someone a million miles out of my league. I can't stop it though; I can't fight it. I can't fight the way I feel and I can't fight that I want to be with her forever.

I smile as I watch her sleep, thinking about the cute way her eyes crinkle up when she laughs at one of my lame jokes. I love the way she smiles, really smiles, when she thinks nobody else is looking. I love the way she lets herself go with me, when she's the real her. I just fucking love her and I'm scared she'll hurt me. I know deep down she's going to hurt me, but I can't stop this. I can't stop feeling what I'm feeling and a part of me doesn't want too. I want to risk it; I'm daring to risk the possibility of getting hurt, so I can get closer to her.
Her eyes slowly start to flutter open as the sun moves outside, managing to start shining in her eyes and she slowly stares from her sleep. It takes her a moment to realise where she is and then she finally looks at me. We hold eye contact, which makes my stomach do crazy things. Her eyes shine, the intensity of them and the blueness sends a shiver through me. I feel like I'm staring into a clear blue ocean when I look into her eyes. An ocean that I'm sure I'm going to drown in, I'm going to drown in her and I don't even care that I can't swim. I can think of worse ways to leave this earth than drowning in her.
I'm surprised, yet delighted as her fingers gently graze my arm and goose bumps form on my skin from her simple touch. We don't speak, we don't need any words because this is it. This is all I want, just her. I want just me and her forever. There's something inside, something deep down that tells me this is it. It tells me I've found the one and I know no matter what happens I'm not letting her go. I'll never let her go, even if she doesn't want me anymore. I'm in deep shit, I know it and so does she.

End of Flashback

The pain I'm feeling right now is like every bit of pain I've ever felt in my life all rolled together and forced upon me at once. There's nothing in this world that could be more painful than this, not even losing Freddy felt like this. I loved Freddy, he was son of course I loved him, but he wasn't with me long enough to completely change my life. Not like Sienna has. I know that's a terrible way to think, terrible thoughts to have, but it's true. I need to start being truthful, even if that just means being honest with myself at first. The love I've got for Sienna doesn't even compare to what I've felt for anyone else.